What one spell would you make if you're a wizard in a world with a soft magic system?

APieceOfRock

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Just curious to see what everyone would make (totally not stealing spell ideas)
My personal spell:
 

TheMonotonePuppet

A Writer With Enthusiasm & A Jester of Christmas!
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Just curious to see what everyone would make (totally not stealing spell ideas)
My personal spell:
“Color to Hug”
Upon seeing a particularly beautiful shade of color, be it literal or metaphorical color of the world, this puppet plucks the color which shall join the rest of the colors which caught her button eyes. All can be found in her eternal embrace.
 

Paul_Tromba

Sleep deprived mess of a published author
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Sexual organ alteration

Possible effected areas: butt, breasts, penis, vagina, ovaries, testicles.

Effects: allows the caster to alter any target creature's effected area's in terms of physical ratios, traits, and placement. Cannot remove effected area's from the creature's body or destroy them without giving a form of payment of sacrifice. Swapping an effected area with another creature is possible.

Warnings: Not legal in 32 countries (we know you don't care which ones so why even say which ones). Ineffective against non-sentient creatures. This spell will not explode an enemies genitalia, that is the "Penis Blast" spell located on page 34, and no, it is not what you think.
 

RepresentingEnvy

En-Chan Queen Vampy!
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The Inconveniencing Spell: Once per day you can cast this spell to make someone's entire day inconvenient. They wake up on the wrong side of the bed. They stub their toe when they get up. Then they step on legos left in their kid's room. They take a shower, but the water isn't the right temperature. They go outside after getting dressed and step in dog poop. The cycle continues for their whole day, and it works for any era.
 

Paul_Tromba

Sleep deprived mess of a published author
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In all seriousness

Physical enhancement alteration

Effected areas: the whole body

Effects: allows the caster to turn all pain I receive for an amount of time into natural physical strength. Strength will be equal to pain received in muscle and mental strength. Physical growth will be retained as naturally built muscle but can exceed natural human limits under the right conditions.

Warnings: Caster may suffer as a result of too much muscle growth, such as not be able to reach certain parts of their backs, walk through doorways straight on, and resist posing in front of mirrors.
 

TheEldritchGod

A Cloud Of Pure Spite And Eyes
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Why a spell?

QUINTESSENCE

- EXPANDED PSIONICS HANDBOOK (3.5)

- PSIONICS HANDBOOK (3.0)

Metacreativity (Creation)

Level: Shaper 4

Display: Material; see text

Manifesting Time: 1 round

Range: 0 ft.

Effect: 1-inch-diameter dollop of quintessence; see text

Duration: Instantaneous

Saving Throw: None

Power Resistance: No

Power Points: 7

You collapse a bit of time from the continuum, forming a 1- ounce dollop of thick, gooey material called quintessence. This substance shimmers like a silver mirror when viewed from some angles but is transparent from other viewpoints. You can smooth a dollop of quintessence around any extremely small object, such as a key, a ring, a seal, or an insignia. Objects sealed within quintessence are protected from the effects of time; in practical terms, they enter a state of stasis. Living flesh with only partial contact with quintessence is also partially pulled out of the time stream (the manifester is immune to this effect). This disruption deals 1 point of damage per round beginning 10 rounds after partial contact occurs. Quintessence can be manually scraped away from a protected object, freeing it to rejoin the time stream. When you do this, there is a 75% chance that the quintessence evaporates back into the continuum. Otherwise, it coalesces again into a 1-inch-diameter bead, available for later use. Large quantities of quintessence could theoretically be gathered to preserve large items or structures (or even a complete living creature; if completely immersed, a living creature would not take the damage associated with partial contact). However, psionic characters and creatures are generally loath to do so because accumulations of quintessence weighing 1 pound or more hinder psionic activity within a 5-foot radius of the accumulation: Powers require twice as many power points to manifest, unless the manifester makes a successful Will save each time he or she attempts to manifest a power. Also in these circumstances, manifesting a psi-like ability that is usable at will is a full-round action rather than a standard action.

Editor: Quintessence is one of the most misunderstood powers in psionics today. Having plumbed the length and breath of the internet, I have determined what I believe is the RAW of the situation. First of all one use of this power creates 1 oz of quintessence. One ounce can contain one object of tiny size. If you need to contain a larger object, we apply the rules that apply to all objects of larger size, we double it.

Tiny - 1 oz

Diminutive - 2 oz

Tiny - 4 oz

Small - 8 oz

Medium - 16 oz

Large - 32 oz

Huge - 64 oz

Gargantuan - 128 oz

Colossal - 256 oz

You do not “over pay”. If you have a vat of quintessence and dip something in, the excess flows off. However, that batch of quintessence coating the object or person is subject to certain rules:

1. You can only coat physical, solid objects. Liquid, Air, and Energy cannot be contained. If you can somehow freeze the liquid, air, or energy, you could do it afterwards with DM approval.

2. Incorporeal objects can be frozen, but are subject to the standard 50% miss chance. If frozen, they are considered to be on the same plane as the quintessence.

3. Only the original creator can safely handle a coated object. Any one else disturbing the object in any significant fashion (ie, causing one point of damage. Trying to move the object. Attempting to activate the object.) is considered “scraping”. The exact nature of what is considered “scraping” is left up to the individual DM, but should be rather liberal.

4. Once scraped, each individual ounce of quintessence is subject to a 75% chance of vaporizing once “scraped”. You can either have 25% survive, or roll for each ounce separately.

5. An instantaneous Spell Effect, even if it creates an object for a moment, cannot be frozen. However, any delayed, or continuous effect can be delayed if the object it is placed on is coated with quintessence. This means you can cast several spells on a sword then coat it, put it in a sack for protection, then unwrap it later. All buff spells will be halted at the time it was placed into the sack.

6. You can cast spells/powers onto an object in stasis without that being considered “scraping” The object is protected from time and therefore can be the target of spells, but not a single spell will take effect until it resumes traveling through time. The exception is, you cannot use touch spells/powers on the object, since this will result in “scraping”. Also, instantaneous powers are instants, therefore do not travel through time since they take no time at all, under the D&D rules. Therefore, instantaneous spells cast on, a suspended object will take effect. If this causes damage, the object will resume moving through time, check to see how much quintessence survives. If this causes any physical changes to the object, consider the object “scraped”.

7. Contact with quintessence can cause damage if left alone. But scratching at it will cause a 75% chance of it vaporizing. Eating quintessence causes digestion, which is as close to “scraping” as you can get. So each round there is a 75% chance it vaporizes.

8. It is assumed that if you are using a container to hold the quintessence, none will be lost to the container itself. The material beads up at the behest of the creator. However, if someone else tries to remove or apply it, a DM is well within his rights to have it vaporize.

9. It cannot be applied to an unwilling subject, since all the subject has to do is shake a whole lot to cause “scraping” and thus vaporizing. However, as an alternate rule, if you have four times the amount of quintessence needed to coat someone, that can be applied as a touch attack. It is assumed the resisting target causes 75% of the quintessence to evaporate, but enough remains behind to coat them. That means you need 64 oz, or four pounds to coat one medium sized target against their will.

10. You cannot coat a sphere of annihilation with quintessence.

11. You can preserve a corpse or wounded person to heal them later. But only the creator of the original quintessence can safely move him.

12. If someone crates something like a heroes’ feast, you can preserve the feast for later. One meal should take about 4 ounces, to be on the safe side.

13. Putting quintessence on an extra-dimensional space does not affect it’s contents and renders the extra-dimensional storage in stasis and therefore inoperative.

14. If you have a large container of quintessence and any part of the quintessence takes damage, all quintessence must immediately check to see if it vaporizes. It is suggested to you keep quintessence in separate containers as a “firewall”.

15. Summoned critters kept in quintessence are in effect in stasis, thus they resume their countdown from the point when they were coated.

16. If you have a large bag of quintessence and stick a sword in, the whole sword must be in it. The sword will retain any spells cast on it. If you pull it out, only the quintessence needed to keep it suspended in time is at risk for vaporization.

17. You can toss someone in a portable hole of quintessence, cast a whole bunch of ranged buffs on them, then pick the hole. They will be suspended in time until you pull them out, fully buffed. If you forget about them, you might have a “Once and Future King” situation going on.

18. If you are astrally projecting and your body is coated in quintessence, you immediately are brought back to your body. If you cannot, your silver cord is severed.

19. By RAW, a lich’s phylactery is just as effective in quintessence as it is lying around.

20. Since a forced dream is in fact a “dream” about the future, if you use forced dream, the use quintessence to wait a thousand years, then activate forced dream in the far future, it does indeed bring you back to the present. However, since it was all a dream about the future anyways, it doesn’t matter and the entire universe isn’t destroyed.

Editor: This is a rare power that creates a permanent “charge” for no XP. That item is ostensibly the world’s greatest preservative: anything that is completely covered in Quintessence is treated as being outside of the time stream and thus is preserved in the state in which it was in at the time it was covered. The power description says that you can accumulate large amounts of Quintessence, enough to cover an object of any size. There are drawbacks: it takes a long time to accumulate enough to cover anything other than a small object, any accumulated quintessence greater than one pound generates a catapsi effect, and anyone other than the manifester takes damage if they are in contact with Quintessence for more than 1 minute (unless that person is completely covered in it). In a typical campaign, this will limit the usefulness of this power. True, you might be able to cover a dying king with the stuff to “stop the clock” while you adventure for the cure, but building up enough to cover him would take awhile. He might die while you manifest. You might also contemplate selling the stuff, but expect angry customers when one of their kids dies from eating a Quintessence-covered object. Additionally, you could try applying this to objects created with Minor Creation, or get a Wizard friend to drop a few Delayed Blast Fireballs into it for the ultimate bomb. Whether or not the power halts the countdown on the duration of a spell or power, however, is an open question. Therefore, just what kind of effect the Quintessence has, is subject to the whims of the DM. More than any other power, your mileage may vary. The rules on this are a bit fuzzy, but with a bit of ingenuity, this is widely considered one of the most useful powers out there. It's an instantaneous creation effect, so you don't have to worry about it being dispelled.
or...
Glorytongue (3.0)

- THE MIND’S EYE (3.0)

Psychometabolism

Level: Psion/Wilder 1

Display: Material

Manifesting Time: 1 standard action

Range: Personal

Target: You

Duration: 1 round/level (D)

Power Points: 1

You gain the ability to stretch your tongue great distances and manipulate it as if it were a true limb. The tongue is treated as a Diminutive construct with 1/2 HD, hit points equal to half your maximum hit points, AC 13 (+4 size, -1 Dex), Strength 1, Dexterity 8, Con --, Int --, Wis 1, Cha 1. It uses your base attack bonus to touch, grab, or attack, but it does not threaten an area and deals no damage with its attacks. It is fully under your control and can manipulate objects like a tentacle. You can use the glorytongue to deliver touch spells. You can cause it grow (up to 100 feet long) or shrink (to its normal size) as a free action. It does not interfere with spellcasting or speaking. It can be used to make grapple checks, although its weak Strength makes it difficult to actually grapple a creature. It can wind its way up ropes, walls, and other vertical surfaces, and it is strong enough to suspend up to 10 feet of itself free of any supporting surface (to cross a pit, for example). The end of the tongue is a primitive sensory organ and can see up to 5 feet away with normal vision. (It does not have blindsight, darkvision, or low-light vision). You perceive everything the tongue perceives. Because it is an extension of your tongue, you can use it to taste things, although poisons and harmful effects do not transmit to you through the glorytongue. If destroyed, all but the original length of tongue that existed before the glorytongue power was used collapses into dust.

Editor (WARNING: 3.0 Power): It's the ability to create a construct with half your hit points IN YOUR MOUTH. You use share pain and your construct tongue takes the damage. As disgusting as this one seems, it's a must. It's a level one power that allows you to deliver touch attacks up to 100 feet as a free action. Frankly, it's broken. As a DM, ban it. As a player TAKE IT. If you allow it as a DM, do NOT allow it to retract as a free action. It extends or retracts as a free action, but not both. Also, have it provoke attacks of opportunity when it tries to lick someone. That support itself up to 10 feet from any surface means that while it can extend 100 feet, it has to extend along the ground, which means it might be damaged by the ground conditions. Begging to be used with persistent or extend power.

But, if you are going to make me stick to spells

WORD OF GENESIS

- TOME OF MAGIC (3.5)

Conjuration (Creation)

Level: Cleric 9

Components: V, S, T, XP

Casting Time: Six days (8 hours/day)

Range: 100 ft. (see text)

Effect: A demiplane coterminous with the Astral Plane, centered on your location

Duration: Instantaneous

Saving Throw: None

Spell Resistance: No

From the silvery haze of the Astral plane, you begin to weave tendrils of mist as you speak words of power. Floating in space, you begin to construct reality anew with your words and gestures.

You create a finite plane with limited access: a demiplane. Demiplanes created by this spell are very small, very minor planes. This spell works best when cast while you are on the Astral Plane (various spells allow access to these planes, including plane shift and gate). Casting this spell creates a local density fluctuation that precipitates the creation of a demiplane. At first, the fledgling plane has a 100-foot radius. Once created, it grows by 1 foot per week (approximately a 50-foot increase in radius per year). Once your demiplane is created, you can travel to it using plane shift or some other spell or permanent link that you arrange for separately. You determine the environment within the demiplane when you cast word of genesis, reflecting most any desire you can visualize. You determine factors such as atmosphere, water, temperature, and the general shape of the terrain. This power cannot create life (including vegetation), nor can it create objects or constructed elements (such as buildings, roads, wells, dungeons, and so forth). You must add these details in some other fashion if you desire. You can’t create lingering magical effects with this power; you have to add those separately, if desired. Similarly, you can’t create a demiplane out of esoteric material such as silver or uranium; you’re limited to stone and dirt. You can’t manipulate the time trait on your demiplane; its time trait is as the Material Plane. Once your demiplane is complete, you can cast the spell again and again, each time increasing its radius by another 100 feet.

XP Cost: 1,000 XP.
 

NotaNuffian

This does spark joy.
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Nuts...

So many penis mutilation spells... what has dicks done to you all?

Pain Transfer: Transfer own pain to others within a 500,000 km radius. Warning: It does not help with healing.
 

Num

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Curse magic, long lasting, super customizable, and very powerful what’s not to love?
 

TheEldritchGod

A Cloud Of Pure Spite And Eyes
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Nuts...

So many penis mutilation spells... what has dicks done to you all?

Pain Transfer: Transfer own pain to others within a 500,000 km radius. Warning: It does not help with healing.
Dude. I went with the 100' long tongue spell that can extend as a free action, MEANING, I Could lick people at the SPEED OF THOUGHT.
I prefer to give it to my toad familiar. Which I usually put on stilts to quatruple it's land speed. Then stack so many buffs on my toad it can "stroll" at approximately six times the speed of sound. (Although as a thought experiment, I once figured out all the buffs, everywhere in d20 3.0/3.5, and calculated how to get my toad familiar to sprint to Barnard's Star (about 50 light years away) in six seconds.

Oh, and the advantage of Glorytongue is that it is a CONSTRUCT, so my tongue basicaly becomes an animated robot in my mouth, and can take actions on it's own. So while you would use Pain Transfer, I used Share Pain with my own tongue, so when I take damage, my tongue takes half the hitpoints. YES, occationally that means if I take enough damage, my tongue will disintegrate/explode, but you can just re-manifest the power for one power point and it grows back.

TL/DR: Don't try to out-weird me. I find stranger things in my breakfast cereal than most of the so-called "weirdos" of Scribble Hub,
 
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