Work. Covid 19 put us behind in production, but. since our establishment was labeled as "essential", they still had us come in to something called a "deep clean" to all equipment and machinery and, also, sanitizing every inch of the entire plant (like doorknobs get bleached every hour). Now that our costumers are requesting orders again, in an effort to catch up to our quota we're being mandated major overtime. As an example: I'm working 24hrs in just the next two days out of a regular 40hr work week (unless they mandate one of my days off this weekend too).
Prepare to make fun of me for this: I also have a big problem (a real mental issue) with not feeling confident in my writing skills (to me, English grammar sucks). This has me afraid to be disheartened. Somebody's potentially negative review on how the story is written (such as a comment about stopping to solve a "linguistic puzzle") will give me doubt about continuing without first "fixing" what I have done. I don't want to put effort into writing (grammatically correct) if there is only harm to be gained for showing the story. I do not have thick skin (and I am not in this for a single dime). I would regret feeling that I am better off returning towards my bed to dream without speaking a word about these stories. These stories, they will eventually be changed by age by my procrastination, or, simply, forgotten and, tragically, gone for good when I am if I don't try to share.
On a more serious note: I am past stressed out. When my co-author (a household family member) had died on April 20th of this year, I cracked. I missed out on the last words they wanted to tell me because I wasn't patient. The day before they died, I tried to stay by their bedside and wait for them to say what was so important, but they kept silent except when insisting I stay. I left. Not knowing what they wanted to say to me had, deeply, disturbed me and will haunt me for the rest of my life. I'm not experiencing writers block or being burnt out; I am broken. I have lost a lot of confidence in myself in doing the right thing.
These are a few reason I, currently, can think of why I procrastinate.