You are kidnapped

[Goodmann]

I'm such an old fossil I don't think I've heard any of them; I request my kidnapper use lyrics.com or similar service to let me read the lyrics to all five before choosing one. My aim would be to choose one that isn't rap. Probably choose either 1 or 2; have vaguely 'anti-meme' negative response to 3 , something nebulously bad about 'baby feet'.

 

[Anon2024]

 

[georgelee5786]

I'd rather have my testicles severed

 

[Anon2024]

 

[Kenjona]

No food/drink after a few days? I am starving and dehydrated. Play what ever you want, Even We are the World on a 1 hour loop.

 

[Anon2024]

 

[TotallyHuman]

Your captor has left you bound and gagged at a chair inside a dimly lit basement for days but they come back and said:

"I will let you go if you listen to one of these songs"

Here is the song list:
1. Jacob Sartorius - Sweatshirt
2. Rebecca Black - Friday
3. Justin Bieber - Baby ft. Ludacris
4. IceJJfish - On the Floor
5. Jake Paul - Its Everyday Bro ft. Team 10

Kono dai majo-sama doesn't know any of these songs. But, I dunno, let's say this one

I'd rather have my testicles severed

Is the kidnapper a hot female who needs my seed?

Why does her being hot matter? I could send you some cold ones if you want - when I try to keep their body warmth they begin to fester.

 

[ReadLight]

"You aren't gonna make me leave! Not until I finish listening to all of them! You hear!?"

*Kidnapper is terrified.

*Kidnapper escaped.

There's no escape.

 

[K5Rakitan]

I only recognized one song, and the first I heard of it was as a parody. I'd rather take my chances with something I have not heard yet, so I picked one of those at random. Not going to pause my kid's video to bother listening to any of them.

 

[Corty]

All five. Bring it on; I will even sing along and ask for an encore.

 

[DannyTheDaikon]

Play me numbers 2 and 3 and I'm gonna turn this kidnapping into an impromptu karaoke session. The kidnapper will regret not being deaf.

 

[Tempokai]

Well, kidnapper surely don't understand a man who had to listen Baby everywhere a decade ago. I can do it again (and damning my ears for 5 minutes) if it needs to.

 

[MatchaChocolate69]

My god, young Justin Bieber makes me cringe so much it gives me goosebumps.
Thankfully, he's become more listenable as he's grown up.
I feel embarrassed for Ludacris, although I guess he must have made a good profit from this sell-out.

While I appreciate villains, I believe there are standards, and the Paul family is well below them.
Total contempt for them.

I choose IceJJFish, look at those moves! And then the lyrics! This is how cringe should be!

 

[Alseki.]

I used to listen to Baby unironically, but I would rather stay kidnapped.

 

[Pixytokisaki14]

Your captor has left you bound and gagged at a chair inside a dimly lit basement for days but they come back and said:

"I will let you go if you listen to one of these songs"

Here is the song list:
1. Jacob Sartorius - Sweatshirt
2. Rebecca Black - Friday
3. Justin Bieber - Baby ft. Ludacris
4. IceJJfish - On the Floor
5. Jake Paul - Its Everyday Bro ft. Team 10

Let me out!!! LEMMEOOOOUTTTTTT
ELLIE!! DON'T LEAVE ME HERE COUGH COUGH

ELLLIIIEEEEEE

 

[BearlyAlive]

Everything at once! If our only choice is to suffer, at least let me suffer in the most sadistic way possible so I can learn from it and do it better the next time someone needs torture

 

[Notadate]

I’m immune to baby

Let me out!!! LEMMEOOOOUTTTTTT
ELLIE!! DON'T LEAVE ME HERE COUGH COUGH

ELLLIIIEEEEEE

Read it in his voice

 

[LuoirM]

5. Jake Paul - Its Everyday Bro ft. Team 10

It's actually not that bad if you don't understand English

It's actually not that bad if you don't understand English

I stand corrected, my niece started crying.

 

[fluffypie374]

Sing to kidnapper: Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you...