Chapter Five: Sandstorm
4.5/5 : Great with a few flaws
And what I mean by 'flaws' are my own biased opinions. I'm not interested in reading a vanilla romance atm especially from a FL pov. Other than that, your writing is fluid, easy to read, and well-structured. The characters felt alive and animated. i felt like punching the guy multiple times (again affirming im not your target demographic). Nothing else worth mentioning in the snippet that I read. maybe MC felt too lax around the guy and their progression was a bit rushed. I'd have liked to see more details, though, instead of info dumps. what did the bed look like, the furs you described on the ground, etc. Also I'd have liked to see more colours. the only colours I could remember are MC's ravens and the guy's hair/eyes
Hi greyblob!
Thanks for your feedback! I appreciate you taking the time! =)
Few quick questions for you. Feel free to not answer since I've already taken up some time by having you read TSC, but there are a few points that were surprising to me (ran the opposite of what I got as feedback in general) that I'd love some clarification on!
1. You mentioned wanting to punch the guy multiple times (LOL!), which was slightly surprising. I post on WP and RR as well, and generally people seem to like him
more than the F!Lead at a personal level (people generally appreciate the F!Lead for being flawed and whatnot, but people seem to just
like the M!Lead). Could you explain which aspects made you want to punch him? (Okay, I admit this is just pure curiosity on my part, haha!)
2. I'm surprised you mentioned the progression felt rushed! I've been considering collapsing some chapters together because the most common bit of criticism I get is that it's
too slow! Can you explain this point a bit more?
Thanks again!
bokhi