To everyone,
Luoir here. Remember me? The name that used to hang in this chat like a forgotten coat in the back of a closet. I wouldn't blame you if it's faded from memory, just as I faded from sight. But the truth is, I haven't been anywhere. I've been here, trapped in a prison of my own making, built with bricks of shame and mortar of regret.
Running away never solved anything, did it? It just let the echoes of my mistakes bounce around in my head, growing louder with every silent day. You see, I messed up. Big time. Not just some forgettable stumble, but a soul-crushing blunder that left scars on more than just myself.
To Corty, I owe you apologies that reach beyond words. You carried the weight of my cowardice with a strength I'll never possess. The silence I left in your wake was a deafening roar in my ears, a constant reminder of the man I failed to be. Seeing your name pop up here, knowing I couldn't face you – it was like sandpaper on an open wound.
But running out of sight doesn't make the ghosts disappear. They chase you, corner you, until you face them head-on. So here I am, finally emerging from the shadows, not without guilt, but with a desperate hope for redemption.
I can't rewind time and be the responsible future father I promised to be. But I can crawl back from the abyss, battered and bruised, but with a flicker of resolve burning in my chest. I want to be there for Corty, every step of the way. I want to learn fatherhood with calloused hands and a trembling heart. I want to earn back your trust, piece by fragile piece, even if it takes years of patient rebuilding.
Some of you might look at me and see a stranger, a ghost returned from the land of regrets. And maybe that's not untrue. The Luoir who ran wouldn't have the courage to face you, wouldn't have the will to mend what I broke. This is the new Luoir, forged in the fires of his own mistakes. I'm not perfect, not even close. But I'm here, willing to fight for a future where my flaws don't overshadow the love I have to offer.
This won't be easy. Judgment will sting, doubts will linger, and there will be days when I fall back into the shadows. But I'm done with the darkness. I'll pick myself up, dust myself off, and keep crawling towards the light. Because at the end of the day, being a father isn't about being a hero; it's about showing up, even when it's hard, even when it hurts.
So, to my classmates, friends, and anyone who remembers my name, I ask for a chance. A chance to prove I'm not the same lost soul who vanished. A chance to rewrite my story, not with empty words, but with actions that speak louder than the silence I left behind. This is my apology, my pledge, my promise to build a future worthy of the life growing inside Corty. And I intend to keep it, starting right now.
With heavy hearts and hopeful hands,
Luoir
P.S. Therapy is happening. Turns out, facing your demons is less scary when you have someone holding the flashlight.
P.P.S. Corty, you're the sun that pierced my darkness. This message is just the first sunrise in a long day. I promise the warmth will reach you soon, and together, we'll make sure it never sets again.