nightshade.valentine
Well-known member
- Joined
- Dec 22, 2020
- Messages
- 52
- Points
- 58
please skip if you have nothing but harsh words..This is an emotional moment, and I am having a hard time judging if I even should post this.
I am writing this because I am burned out.
Well, I do write because I love my story and characters. but having that said. That's all, I am not a native English speaker. The amount I invest to finish 1000 words is utterly massive. I need to research grammar, wordings, and structure like hundred times until I publish a chapter. And even then it is bad and does not match the standards
Lately, I have realized that I was happy when going to work. I did feel proud doing something aside from work that makes me happier, and thinking about my characters when listening to music has never felt better.
I have a small child, a husband, and a full-time job. so to write, I am sacrificing my sleep and waking at 4:00 am in the morning for the past two months.
Though, when I look back at my chapters, I hate them ...I hate my English and then I lose hours editing again. and finally I know that they will never be up to the native standards. and yes, I did receive feedbacks that made this scar deeper.
Maybe I need to literally break up with my novel. As it emotionally exhausted me , and drained my soul and energy.
I am writing this because I am burned out.
Well, I do write because I love my story and characters. but having that said. That's all, I am not a native English speaker. The amount I invest to finish 1000 words is utterly massive. I need to research grammar, wordings, and structure like hundred times until I publish a chapter. And even then it is bad and does not match the standards
Lately, I have realized that I was happy when going to work. I did feel proud doing something aside from work that makes me happier, and thinking about my characters when listening to music has never felt better.
I have a small child, a husband, and a full-time job. so to write, I am sacrificing my sleep and waking at 4:00 am in the morning for the past two months.
Though, when I look back at my chapters, I hate them ...I hate my English and then I lose hours editing again. and finally I know that they will never be up to the native standards. and yes, I did receive feedbacks that made this scar deeper.
Maybe I need to literally break up with my novel. As it emotionally exhausted me , and drained my soul and energy.
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