First Chapter Analysis

DJ_Rhaposdy

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Hey, if you're interested, would you mind checking out my prologue? I'm always looking for feedback, so any would be greatly appreciated!

 

MuseWeaver

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Would love feedback on my webnovel and the back cover.

 
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Story_Marc

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I should be able to get around to these this week, but no guarantees. I've been working on a secret project that's been taking up a lot of time for next month.
 

Althaea

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Thanks in advance!
 

Story_Marc

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I need a break from what I'm working on, so let's see how many of these I do today.
Hey, if you're interested, would you mind checking out my prologue? I'm always looking for feedback, so any would be greatly appreciated!

So, for me, I got bored quickly with the setting description here. It lacks a hook. This really goes back to the lesson I gave here on gripping first sentences. The thing you should particularly do is get to your character as quickly as possible and start the actual story since I kept reading that while thinking "I don't care... where's the actual story?" and start skimming. Then I just found it too boring to continue.

Something about the opening... Hmm... It feels very hastily explained... I feel like, if you do wish to start In Medias Res, there's a much better way to do it. I know a bit about In Medias Res, but my mind is kind of blank right now. Anyway, while I think the post-apocalyptic premise can work, the protagonist just feels generic to me so far. Like he's just yet another bland Isekai Protagonist. It's what kept me from feeling much about things, especially when I just felt I got exposition on them and it wasn't anything interesting even about them.

Sorry these aren't as in-depth as some other ones, I mostly focused on what caused me to want to/did make me stop this time around.
 

bulmabriefs144

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Do you find starting a story a daunting task? I do. Luckily, I always have my mountains of research on the writing craft to fall back on. It's helped me out a great deal over the years in building my confidence and I'd love to share a bit of it with those who are interested. I can't guarantee perfection, but I'm fairly confident I can help you start the story on the right foot.

What I'll do is read the first chapter present only and figure out what's either working and/or not working for me. I'll address it in the thread and try to have a back & forth convo with you to see what I can best suggest. I'll also try to connect you with the writing craft which might help you best to hear.

I do reserve the right to pass on a story if it's so extreme against my tastes, but I'll do my best to focus on what your work is doing and what you're trying to do. Also, I'll just tell you if your story passes or fails in my eyes as an opening chapter.

Also, to note, I don't care about "perfection" or the like. Perfection is impossible because it doesn't exist. I simply wish to help refine people's skills as writers so they can better entertain their intended audience. And I refine stuff by using craft techniques which help me get things done and help me help others. This is what I'm offering.

If your outlook is just "I just want to write from my heart and do this", please do not ask for feedback. I'm not against writing for fun. Do it! Write for fun! Enjoy the act of creation! I'm pro-writing as a hobby. It's just that that outlook has nothing to do with the reader's experience. I'm not offering positive affirmation. This is for those who wish to learn where immediate issues might lie for the readers and hear suggestions for how to address those issues. I'm approaching this as a reader first and, when stuff fails, I'm turning on my editor's eye to figure out why. Finally, I'll suggest edits. If you don't wish to change anything, please don't ask. Or, at the very least, don't tell me because I don't care. It's your story and I ultimately want you to do whatever you want with it, not whatever would most please me. It's just tiresome to read again and again after putting in the effort to give a genuine reaction & feedback because it feels like the person didn't want to hear what was said to them.

Yeah, the first chapter (or two) is usually where I decide whether or not to continue. I started a TotK fanfic, but then I realized the main character fit awkwardly into the story, so I ditched the concept. I ditched Town of Winter three times before the story worked. Thankfully, the sequel flowed naturally by combining the themes of Town of Winter and Oracle of Tao then making a dragon break
to kinda merge multiple endings together into a coherent concept.

Typically, within three chapters, I usually know if a project is too hard to work through.
 

Jerynboe

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After my first sprawling 270 chapter and counting ramble, I’m trying to take my second story a little more seriously. I’d be honored if you gave it a look. If not, oh well.

At Least I’m a Pirate Now
 
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This is mine, do whatever you want with it.
 

Story_Marc

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Would love feedback on my webnovel and the back cover.

I found some of the formatting choices weird, like the brackets (just use italicize, that's how you do direct internal dialogue), but I overall like this one. I didn't find it difficult to read and the storytelling so far is excellent. You picked a great point to start at and the scene really sets a dark tone for the series. A lot of what I've said about being ideal for early stuff is done well here. So yeah, you have my thumbs up.
Hello~ I'd like to know what's your first chapter analysis for my novel 'The Girl From The Afterlife' Thanks!
Link here: https://www.scribblehub.com/series/802668/the-girl-from-the-afterlife/
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I started skimming Infinity Seed and liked it so far. Maybe I'll read full-on tomorrow, maybe I won't. We'll see based on how I'm feeling when I'm taking a break in my schedule. As of now, I need to go write.
 

Scaver

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Do you find starting a story a daunting task? I do. Luckily, I always have my mountains of research on the writing craft to fall back on. It's helped me out a great deal over the years in building my confidence and I'd love to share a bit of it with those who are interested. I can't guarantee perfection, but I'm fairly confident I can help you start the story on the right foot.

What I'll do is read the first chapter present only and figure out what's either working and/or not working for me. I'll address it in the thread and try to have a back & forth convo with you to see what I can best suggest. I'll also try to connect you with the writing craft which might help you best to hear.

I do reserve the right to pass on a story if it's so extreme against my tastes, but I'll do my best to focus on what your work is doing and what you're trying to do. Also, I'll just tell you if your story passes or fails in my eyes as an opening chapter.

Also, to note, I don't care about "perfection" or the like. Perfection is impossible because it doesn't exist. I simply wish to help refine people's skills as writers so they can better entertain their intended audience. And I refine stuff by using craft techniques which help me get things done and help me help others. This is what I'm offering.

If your outlook is just "I just want to write from my heart and do this", please do not ask for feedback. I'm not against writing for fun. Do it! Write for fun! Enjoy the act of creation! I'm pro-writing as a hobby. It's just that that outlook has nothing to do with the reader's experience. I'm not offering positive affirmation. This is for those who wish to learn where immediate issues might lie for the readers and hear suggestions for how to address those issues. I'm approaching this as a reader first and, when stuff fails, I'm turning on my editor's eye to figure out why. Finally, I'll suggest edits. If you don't wish to change anything, please don't ask. Or, at the very least, don't tell me because I don't care. It's your story and I ultimately want you to do whatever you want with it, not whatever would most please me. It's just tiresome to read again and again after putting in the effort to give a genuine reaction & feedback because it feels like the person didn't want to hear what was said to them.
If you would!
 

NobleHeroine

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If you're interested, I'd love some feedback! First original story, so I'm a bit nervous.
 
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RyujiSakamata

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Is this thread still on? Can I request for a feedback for my story, cuz I really needed it. Thank you.

 
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fantasyretreat

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Late to the feedback party, I guess...if you ever get the chance to check my work, please do. I'm new here.
 

Story_Marc

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Is this thread still on? Can I request for a feedback for my story, cuz I really needed it. Thank you.

It's still on. I'm just slow because I juggle this, personal life, running my YouTube channel, and writing my own story. Of the four, this is my lowest priority, but I do still enjoy doing it.
 

SalivaSpittingWorm

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Hey. If you'd take a look at my new novel and do a review, I'd appreciate it. It's a novel called "I am God, so bow your head" :giggle:
So far, readers seem to be intrigued, but I don't have much feedback that I would welcome. :whistle:
 
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