Hit me with your best pun

[Omnifarious]

 

[Omnifarious]

don't panic it's just a pan tree. if you can't handle it just wok away.

 

[Dudealien]

i’d tell a joke about pizza, but it’s way too cheesy

 

[Fox-Trot-9]

If you're feeling uneasy , we've got your disease-y .

 

[Siostar]

Why should we never give a title to a parent?

Spoiler

We really don't want to create an entitled parent, now do we?

 

[Deleted member 70892]

Never forget that you're the reason for everyone to smile because you are a joke.

They said, don't give up on your dreams. So I went back to sleep.

Sometimes when I close my eyes, I can't see anything.

Arguing with a woman is like reading the software license agreement. In the end, you ignore everything and click “I Agree.”

Just because you are correct doesn't mean that you are right!

The dead are still alive, yet they are just no longer breathing.

 

[Paul_Tromba]

I am not going to give you a pun since puns and dad jokes are only good in the moment.

 

[Cipiteca396]

I am not going to give you a pun since puns and dad jokes are only good in the moment.

Pun is temporary.

 

[Paul_Tromba]

Pun is temporary.

Doom is Eternal

 

[Ilikewaterkusa]

Maybe I am the only one but I LOVE puns. They are so bad they become good.
So I want to hear your best/worst pun!

I'll start:
"What do you call a hill that's funny? Hill-arious!"

This thread isn’t punny at all.

 

[Triskele_Lynx]

The pun is mightier than the sword!

CW: mild off-color humor, and a long way to go for bad puns.

A beech tree and a birch tree were living in a forest. A sapling started growing between them.

The beech tree said, "Look at my son. Isn't he a fine looking tree?"

The birch replied, "Your son? That handsome sapling is obviously my son."

The two trees argued until a woodpecker flew by. The beech called out, "Hey, woodpecker! Could you settle an argument for us?“

"Sure. What do you need?"

"Can you prove to that ignorant birch tree that the good looking tree growing between us is obviously my son? It's way too good looking to be a scraggly birch!"

"Oh, no," said the birch. "It's way too noble a tree to ever be a beech."

The woodpecker agreed and flew down to the young tree, whacked it with his bill a few times, and said, "I hate to disappoint you both, but this is neither a son of a beech not a son of a birch. It is the finest piece of ash I've ever put my pecker in!"

 

[RavenRunes]

I'd tell you a joke about a blunt pencil but it's pointless.

 

[Ymadthepirate]

this is not punny

 

[ReaperOfLykos]

Not mine, but:
"That's the thing about the word 'assume': it makes an ass out of you, and, sometimes, out of me"

Lolol this is like the best known pun ever! Who didn't already know this by heart? Am i weird?
None are mine. I've heard these over the years and remembered. A few are definitely well known

"Clones are people two."

"What did the buffalo say to his son? Bison."

"My ceiling isn't the best, but its up there."

"Why was Dumbo sad? Because he felt irrelephant."

"A cross-eyed teacher couldnt control his pupils."

"The past, present and future walked into a bar. It was tense!"

Lol