How Do You Grow a Thick Skin?

[K5Rakitan]

The first thing you should do is ignore these 3 jokers,

They learned from the best!
My minions and I will carefully conquer the world.
If you would like to join my army, the first step is to give me a one-star rating

 

[hauntedwritings]

I'm talking about learning to accept criticism from others without turning arrogant as an author.

When feedback sounds mean rather than constructive and I don't know what to do with my thoughts, I suffer from self-doubt.

I want to have a balanced perspective, but I don't know where to start. Any tips, tricks or insights would be greatly appreciated.

I suppose critisism can be put on a spectrum.

1. Positive constructive feedback. The extreme. They have you and your work's best interest at heart.

2. Limited constructive feedback. The midpoint. Basically boils down to the readers' desire for you to satisfy their self interest with a carrot or stick.

3. Negative feedback. The other extreme. You know it.

Something to always remember is that your readers don't know the future of your story, which means that their advice - while constructive at heart - can be short sighted and not in line with where you want your story to go. The correct response to any feedback that isn't outright malicious it to thank them for their input, and to give your perspective on whether or not their feedback was useful.
But your story is your baby, and any responsible parent wouldn't hand their baby over to a stranger on the internet.

 

[K5Rakitan]

On a more serious note:

My son would like to add:
sb,tlu8,kjtt;ljvzadx

 

[apexaltra]

For critique: Critiquing someone's work takes energy. It helps to approach it from the standpoint of "this person is taking the time to help me grow as an author." Nobody's work is perfect.

For comments and criticism: Every author is gonna get 1 star reviews and angry comments. Famous traditionally published authors will still have people shit all over their books. A good rule of thumb is, if a commenter points out something they don't like then you're free to ignore it. If 5, 10, 20 commenters point out the same issue? Then you might need to take another look at your work.

There's also a difference between "This has too many [genre] elements and I don't like [genre]" comments and "Your characters aren't believable" comments. The former is just someone's preference.

 

[Nyctoria]

My son would like to add:
sb,tlu8,kjtt;ljvzadx

Very inspirational! Thank you!

 

[Agentt]

They learned from the best!
My minions and I will carefully conquer the world.
If you would like to join my army, the first step is to give me a one-star rating

Bad girl!

 

[DiscoDream]

I'm talking about learning to accept criticism from others without turning arrogant as an author.

When feedback sounds mean rather than constructive and I don't know what to do with my thoughts, I suffer from self-doubt.

I want to have a balanced perspective, but I don't know where to start. Any tips, tricks or insights would be greatly appreciated.

Everything is a joke, until stated otherwise. If something comes off as overtly hostile, probe them with an attempt at humor, to see if maybe there's a break in communication somewhere. If not, then decide whether or not you want to deal with 'this'. Sometimes hostile people have a point. Other times, they don't even know what they want. Self-esteem isn't something that can be built up in even a year, so take your time

 

[Lire]

My son would like to add:
sb,tlu8,kjtt;ljvzadx

Your son certainly has a way with words.

It... does things to me that I don't really know if I'm okay with.

 

[Deleted member 54065]

I'm talking about learning to accept criticism from others without turning arrogant as an author.

When feedback sounds mean rather than constructive and I don't know what to do with my thoughts, I suffer from self-doubt.

I want to have a balanced perspective, but I don't know where to start. Any tips, tricks or insights would be greatly appreciated.

Much has been trolled and said, but let me add to the discussion by narrating to you my most recent experience.

Last two weeks ago, I received a comment in my story in WebNovel saying that my female characters are 'not respecting' my male character's privacy (because of their yandere tendencies), and he's thinking that I thought it was cute. He told me he thinks it's annoying.

My reply? Nah. I didn't think it was worth explaining to him. First, I'm freaking tired with all the bread-kneading I did for the past weeks, and I even got sick due to extreme exhaustion (yeah, I'm not an outdoors type of person). Second, I can't change the mind of a decided person. Third, he's only one among the many (but not too many) that's giving me feedback. Fourth, I don't give a damn if he thinks it's not cute; I'm the author, and I like it that way (aside from that it is in my plans for my story). Fifth, and related to fourth, he's reading it free in the internet. He's not paying me to write for him, so his comment is already invalid (considering my final plans for the work and the other feedbacks I receive).

How did I manage to grow a thick skin? Like I always tell here, I made plans for my story. If the comment isn't in-line with my goal (and I mean the goal, not what I want), then it's automatically considered a nuisance. I also have trusted beta readers (a close friend and my brother) to give me initial impressions on the final manuscript. The thought of 'you can't please everyone' also helps, just make sure you do your best in 'ironing out' your work.

It's like what we say in court: 'with due diligence'. If someone did his part 'with due diligence', one's comment can't easily hurt his work.

 

[Lire]

my female characters are 'not respecting' my male character's privacy (because of their yandere tendencies)

Kek. Privacy? To a Yandere? lmao
That guy did not read your tags. Or he hasn't read enough Yandere stuff.

 

[Deleted member 54065]

Kek. Privacy? To a Yandere? lmao
That guy did not read your tags. Or he hasn't read enough Yandere stuff.

I was surprised I read that kind of feedback, honestly...like, dude, you don't have an idea what a 'yandere' is?

In any case, I'll let his comment speak for himself.

 

[Askun]

I'm talking about learning to accept criticism from others without turning arrogant as an author.

When feedback sounds mean rather than constructive and I don't know what to do with my thoughts, I suffer from self-doubt.

I want to have a balanced perspective, but I don't know where to start. Any tips, tricks or insights would be greatly appreciated.

By Avoiding reading it... until I am ready.
Is hard to avoid cristism. ( that's how I do it back then)

Just do writing for fun. Make your own work and imagination. If someone find fault, that mean they are at fault because they didn't understand your world. This a bot self centered.

Also, you should embrace the criticism and improve from that. And make sure you can differentiate cristism and insult to your work. Because a lot of that insult usually done because they can.

 

[SternenklarenRitter]

I suggest drinking milk. Milk is abundant in many of the minerals and nutrients your skin needs to stay healthy and resistant to cuts and bruising. You might also try repeatedly switching the water from hot to cold and back while in the shower. This encourages blood vessels near the surface to contract and dilate, giving little used muscles the opportunity for exercise and encouraging more bloodflow to your skin throughout the day. And avoid excessive sunlight, which causes premature aging of skin and eyes. Some sun is healthy, but direct exposure is unnecessary; a walk through a shady forest on a sunny day or a jog down the street on a cloudy day gives all the sunlight your skin wants in a day.

 

[Lire]

I suggest drinking milk.

Sir! *raises hand*

Does breast milk count?

 

[SternenklarenRitter]

Human milk is good enough for babies after all. Make sure you make all your human byproducts are purchased legally and with informed consent from their producer, as these tend to be protected substances under human trafficking laws.

 

[Zakuro]

Human milk is good enough for babies after all. Make sure you make all your human byproducts are purchased legally and with informed consent from their producer, as these tend to be protected substances under human trafficking laws.

Depends on the country.

 

[Varstark]

Realise that you are an infinitesimally small speck in the universe interacting with other infinitesimally small specks in the universe through bits of electrical signals. You will likely die within a couple to several decades. You have a limited number of shits to give. You could mentally masturbate over writing wish fulfillment and porn and maybe some meaningful literature and feel decently good about yourself when going to sleep tonight, or you could choose to care about some random sperg on the internet with a smartphone in one hand and their junk in the other graffiti-ing on what is essentially a virtual public toilet.

Read scathing critiques of Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, ASOIAF, Naruto, MCU, Bleach, or any remotely popular work that literally, professionally psycho-analyses the author through the work and points out every unacceptable piece of ethos and disgusting fetish the work reveals.

Now look at your comments.

Look back at the reviews of the popular, published works.

Now look back at your comments.

 

[Forgotten_One]

I'm talking about learning to accept criticism from others without turning arrogant as an author.

When feedback sounds mean rather than constructive and I don't know what to do with my thoughts, I suffer from self-doubt.

I want to have a balanced perspective, but I don't know where to start. Any tips, tricks or insights would be greatly appreciated.

With skin care in one hand and a cheese grater in the other.

 

[Silbern]

Don’t take criticism to heart.

Eat foods that are rich in vitamins C and E.

 

[orangepeel]

People critique and complain about whatever is the final straw, if it sounds hostile to you they are projecting some other issue into their comment.
If your having self doubt about a particular complaint try getting the opinion of a friend (or fellow author) to judge if it is a valid way you could improve your writing. It's rare, but hostile comments can point out issues.

I recommend running through bushes then climbing trees (mostly) naked, that will toughen up your skin real quick.