Darkcrow.
Tarnished
- Joined
- Feb 1, 2019
- Messages
- 66
- Points
- 58
The title says everything.
I wanted to know if I am the only one with these shitty first drafts. (Grammatical errors, Spelling errors, missing lines and broken plot.).
Share your drafts if you can, I want to study them, Maybe get a few tips from them.
A few tips on draft writing will also be appreciated.
I wanted to know if I am the only one with these shitty first drafts. (Grammatical errors, Spelling errors, missing lines and broken plot.).
(Add how he is called back to the capital)
My father used to say "Son, you better eat before burning your enemy's, Or your stomach will embarrass you in front of them. And I must tell you, They don't taste as good as they smells,"
And at this moment my burning enemies really smelled good enough for me wanting to taste them. (Change sentence)
"Sire it is done," I turned towards my knight him. the old withered man was standing tall without any sign of tiredness, His white knight clothes was now turned red (Change), His thin hands placed firmly on his sword handle....and his hard eyes, looking at me for my next command. Which for some reason always intimidated me, Maybe because he was my Guardian, Or because those hard grey eyes had the same hidden furiousity as my father. (add more flow)
I gave him a nod, Before looking at my silent troops. Most of them were 2 or three winters older....(Add something it looks like a cut sentence. "Gjklj my most trusted subordinate....and probably the only person i will trust my life with... ")
Strange isnt it, No one celebrated, No one cheered in victory, No one even had a slight smile on their face...All of them just looked at the mountain of broken humans, amputated limbs, headless bodies in silence....(Discribe the mountain more and how mc ordered to create it.)
"Torch," I held out my hand, And the torch was provided instantly by a soldier....(Add probably fearing that mc will kill him if he didn't hand the torch fast enough) And I walked forward near the mountain(Find another word)......Some of the enemy soldiers who could still move their eyes...followed my moment....hopelessly....
I searched for the most defient pair of eyes....among my foes....and ..(Add a little conversatioon about mc talking/moking the soilder.)
.
I didn't hear any screams or pleas, All of them looked just so broken and defeated. It was as if they have given up on living, And that was good...
'Complete Despair is the only thing that guaranty..... your enemy's submission.....' My fathers voice echoed through my hear.....
(Add more content.)
.
The mountain slowly began to burn...And the screams began...as the fire reached those souls....
.
....., And Terror alone can prevent your allies from becoming your enemies..' My father's voice completed the sentence(Try to make the voice a little closer to each other.)....as the more screams began....(Maybe they were from the enemies or my troops I didn't care) a smile slowly streached over my face......
My troops trembled in fear, My enemies cried in despair, My Knight stood indifferently and I laughed in my sinister delight, Savoring the despair of my dying enemies.
(Rewrite everything)
My father used to say "Son, you better eat before burning your enemy's, Or your stomach will embarrass you in front of them. And I must tell you, They don't taste as good as they smells,"
And at this moment my burning enemies really smelled good enough for me wanting to taste them. (Change sentence)
"Sire it is done," I turned towards my knight him. the old withered man was standing tall without any sign of tiredness, His white knight clothes was now turned red (Change), His thin hands placed firmly on his sword handle....and his hard eyes, looking at me for my next command. Which for some reason always intimidated me, Maybe because he was my Guardian, Or because those hard grey eyes had the same hidden furiousity as my father. (add more flow)
I gave him a nod, Before looking at my silent troops. Most of them were 2 or three winters older....(Add something it looks like a cut sentence. "Gjklj my most trusted subordinate....and probably the only person i will trust my life with... ")
Strange isnt it, No one celebrated, No one cheered in victory, No one even had a slight smile on their face...All of them just looked at the mountain of broken humans, amputated limbs, headless bodies in silence....(Discribe the mountain more and how mc ordered to create it.)
"Torch," I held out my hand, And the torch was provided instantly by a soldier....(Add probably fearing that mc will kill him if he didn't hand the torch fast enough) And I walked forward near the mountain(Find another word)......Some of the enemy soldiers who could still move their eyes...followed my moment....hopelessly....
I searched for the most defient pair of eyes....among my foes....and ..(Add a little conversatioon about mc talking/moking the soilder.)
.
I didn't hear any screams or pleas, All of them looked just so broken and defeated. It was as if they have given up on living, And that was good...
'Complete Despair is the only thing that guaranty..... your enemy's submission.....' My fathers voice echoed through my hear.....
(Add more content.)
.
The mountain slowly began to burn...And the screams began...as the fire reached those souls....
.
....., And Terror alone can prevent your allies from becoming your enemies..' My father's voice completed the sentence(Try to make the voice a little closer to each other.)....as the more screams began....(Maybe they were from the enemies or my troops I didn't care) a smile slowly streached over my face......
My troops trembled in fear, My enemies cried in despair, My Knight stood indifferently and I laughed in my sinister delight, Savoring the despair of my dying enemies.
(Rewrite everything)
A few tips on draft writing will also be appreciated.
