How to keep a harem novel family-friendly... like, no cursing, suggestive themes, etc. AT ALL?

SeaHiatus

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I think could be done in a family friendly way. Harems however I do not think can be done so at all, because the only goal is sex.
Well I agree there's technically people in multiple relationships be it polygyny, polyandry, polygamy, open relationships, etc. that could be happy with one another.

It makes me think back to ancient times where polygamy in a lot of places were more practiced...were they always fighting with one another? I don't think every one of them was. Sometimes I wonder if dramas are just that, what we think and dramatize in the past...

However, Ik two grt-grdprts who had two wives. Idk much about them but from what I heard when they were young...one of them didn't had a so happy nice marriage life (other one didn't find out til yrs later and were not pleased). One side had kids (grdprts' gen) that don't always get along with each other - it may or may not tie to that (besides big family, mismatch personalities among siblings, etc). So I could see how some of that is sometimes played out in some dramas (but not to such an exaggeration scale, althu there's probably some that have it worse or better).

Historically people entered polygamous relationships for many reasons -maybe not enough males, produce more male progeny, political ties, social construct at that time, etc. There's probably a lot of unhappiness somewhere within a lot of those relationships in the past that weren't mentioned (until nowadays when its more okay to bring those things to light instead of getting shunned about it. that's probably why you hear more about it now.)…But....there's probably some that also manage just fine and like it and live happy lives with each other.

So yes...its not great to paint all those relationships in one big stroke.

But how the harem tag is used here....idk if it is used in a family friendly concept. A lot of them also have eechi and smut tags to it too. But hey, maybe there is one that is family friendly. And harem stories that don't involve any of that. I just don't get that feel looking at stories with harem tags or when people mention harem stories on here.
 
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WasatchWind

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Well I agree there's technically people in multiple relationships be it polygyny, polyandry, polygamy, open relationships, etc. that could be happy with one another.

It makes me think back to ancient times where polygamy in a lot of places were more practiced...were they always fighting with one another? I don't think every one of them was. Sometimes I wonder if dramas are just that, what we think and dramatize in the past...

However, Ik two grt-grdprts who had more than two wives. Idk much about them but from what I heard when they were young...one of them didn't had a so happy nice marriage life (other one didn't find out til yrs later). One side had kids (grdprts' gen) that don't always get along with each other - it may or may not tie to that (besides big family, mismatch personalities among siblings, etc). So I could see how some of that is sometimes played out in some dramas (but not to such an exaggeration scale, althu there's probably some that have it worse or better).

Historically people entered polygamous relationships for many reasons -maybe not enough males, produce more male progeny, political ties, social construct at that time, etc. There's probably a lot of unhappiness somewhere within a lot of those relationships in the past that weren't mentioned (until nowadays when its more okay to bring those things to light instead of getting shunned about it. that's probably why you hear more about it now.)…But....there's probably some that also manage just fine and like it and live happy lives with each other.

So yes...its not great to paint all those relationships in one big stroke.

But how the harem tag is used here....idk if it is used in a family friendly concept. A lot of them also have eechi and smut tags to it too. But hey, maybe there is one that is family friendly. And harem stories that don't involve any of that. I just don't get that feel looking at stories with harem tags or when people mention harem stories on here.
If I was writing a story attempting to explore more realistic polygamous relationships, I would not include the harem tag - just as I wouldn't call something smut if the sexual content was abusive.
 

SeaHiatus

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If I was writing a story attempting to explore more realistic polygamous relationships, I would not include the harem tag
I think harem just means multiple relationships. Harem original's meaning...
I think I would still see it as a harem genre story. However, it'll be interesting because people can use tags to describe their story better. Like how there's polygamy and polyandry tags already existing. It just may not be the norm of harem stories you usually see on here.
 

someonesomeguy

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Read Simulrcam

It's a family friendly wholesome harem. Seriously it's amazing.
 

Ai-chan

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So, how can I create a perfectly fine novel where there's a harem, but no suggestive themes? Like, there can be some PDA, but not a lot...
Ask people who are in a perfectly normal polygamous relationship. There isn't even a need for public display of affection. In most countries that allow polygamy, public displays of affection are itself, illegal.
 

CadmarLegend

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Ask people who are in a perfectly normal polygamous relationship. There isn't even a need for public display of affection. In most countries that allow polygamy, public displays of affection are itself, illegal.
Never knew that... pda illegal? °○•
 

Kenjona

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Is it really that difficult to make female characters who feel human instead of sex objects for guys to gawk over about their 3 sizes?

Let me give you an example story I would write if someone asked me to make a harem story that's family-friendly.

If you make a story about 4 girls...

1) Childhood friend
2) Girl Next Door
3) New Friend
4) Old Crush

Now they are all in the same place (I like writing modern stories so the school or something similar. But this could be fantasy, mystery, or whatever the heck you feel like it should be.)

Childhood friend develops new feelings for x protag.
Girl next door is in the same class with x protag and begins hanging out with him more often than x protag's childhood friend.
New classmate x helped out and now has a crush on x protag.
X protag sees old crush in the new year of school.

There's my set-up harem story now how can I keep this family-friendly etc. etc?

Each person is human first, love interest second. They all have their own problems and worries and x protag being a good person to confide in, come to about their problems leads to them going on cute hangouts, alone study sessions, casually eating out that turn into feeding one another their favorite foods. (I'm sure someone can think of 100s of fun ideas that they can do while listening to the heroine's problems and making them feel more human than harems tend to do.)

Then you make the final choice...which 4 girl will be x protags main love?

Get your readers invested emotionally while keeping things light-hearted and fun. Because in real life I'm sure many of us haven't experienced falling into a girl and groping her by mistake, seeing a girl's panties by accident wind blowing, and the like. Let's be honest, harems are unrealistic fantasies made for self-fulfillment in the end. (Which isn't bad as some love to be in the middle of that kind of stuff.)

To be honest, I wouldn't dislike harems as much as I do if the writers in most wouldn't objectify women the way they do. Make your characters human, that's the best way to go about a family-friendly harem.
I agree with most of what you wrote, especially the last paragraph.
Except for these lines:
Because in real life I'm sure many of us haven't experienced falling into a girl and groping her by mistake, seeing a girl's panties by accident wind blowing, and the like. Let's be honest, harems are unrealistic fantasies made for self-fulfillment in the end. (Which isn't bad as some love to be in the middle of that kind of stuff.)

Ok the panty thing does happen just often enough, that at some point in your life you will see it. The accidental grope, yeah not everyone will ever be involved in one.

Harems by the way you wrote do happen in School, certain self sufficient Services (ie Military unit members and their spouses, Merchant Marine, the Antarctic base), just not to everyone and very rarely to a dense introverted MC (indecisive MC sure, but most kids know what is going on sooner or later); what is extremely rare is a "Harem ending".

There have always been that guy/girl in school who is being pursued by 3 or more people and willing to try and juggle them. Of all the Anime MC's I know about, Makoto Iou in School days is closest to that type of person I have seen, real life "Harem" style storylines I have seen in Middle school, High School (several male and females I can think of during that period in three different schools) and incidents occurring around the local University (including several women getting deliberately knocked up to try and keep one guy), I saw it while in the Military. If anything I have seen the more "tropey" 1) Childhood friend 2) New Flame 3) Old flame (one or more), revolving around a woman than I do men, might be because most women have a higher EQ and can string guys along emotionally better, or I am just biased in what I have seen.

Huh, you know I know of one of those right now just four houses down from me, Ex even showed up with a gun last week but got talked down by her Doormat buddy (Childhood friend), Ex got invited in to the house (without gun), the cops showed up, but Ex and her were apparently having sex and had to come out missing a few articles of clothing, the cops left since nothing "happened" as claimed by the three of them it was just a "misunderstanding". All this my wife saw from a distance and got more info from the neighbor who listened in. Ex and Doormat left just before the new flame showed up and took her out. That show has been going on for almost ten years now in one form or another.

Now "Harem endings" normally nope, only ones I know of have an outside "cultural" force that enforces "Harems" as part of their society, or it may be a "Harem" for a little bit but not for long due to reasons.

Hmm a twisted Harem in real life: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Manson_Family

The Pr0n king Himself: "It turns out that Hef officially launched his rotating harem after he separated from Kimberley Conrad, his second wife. His coterie has ranged in size from around seven to the current three girlfriends: Holly Madison (28), Bridget Marquardt (34) and Kendra Wilkinson (22)." https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2007/oct/13/insideanamericanharem

Cultural/Forced Harem that still exist :mad_s: :



As a side comment how about these modern "Harem" series, granted no harem ending, just "one girl/boy" wins in the end: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Bachelor_(American_TV_series)
 

Ace_Raven

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So, how can I create a perfectly fine novel where there's a harem, but no suggestive themes? Like, there can be some PDA, but not a lot...
Don't make your protagonis into a pervert or lucky sukebe i guess....

But that will make your reader to assume he is a beta. So,

Probably instead of letting for example 5 girls fight over him you can make them compete after him.

One girl for each arc is probably what i would recommend.

But, it won't be feel like harem story until late game where the protagonist feeling towards all the girl already have at least a basic standing ground.
 

bigbear51

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I wish people would keep their religious crap out of discussions when it's based upon a topic so heavily controversial in regards to.


You are a sin.
I wish people weren't so commanding what what I can or can't say, but I guess we just can't always get what we want, now can we?
 

xluferx

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Harems fundamentally and historically speaking aren't family friendly AT ALL
 

MajorKerina

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Vague, deniable innuendos as high as the sky and cute romance scenes. I recently wrote about childhood friends climbing a tree with firm, thick branches.
 
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