How would you punish a bad boy?

[AuntieMaysLittleCousin]

That happens when you aren't hard enough/ strict enough with them. They need to be pushed to do something and not be a layabout.

If my kid started walking the 'momma's basement couch potato' path, I would buy airplane tickets to Indonesia, dump him on a virgin jungle with nothing but a machete and his shorts, an come back to pick him up three days later.

Repeat until he has learned to help himself.

 

[K5Rakitan]

That happens when you aren't hard enough/ strict enough with them. They need to be pushed to do something and not be a layabout.

As I mentioned before, humans are intrinsically motivated to do things. You should see how my kid tries to put on his own shoes every day before I offer to help. He'll get it someday, and I don't need to push him for him to figure it out on his own. Humans also like to be liked by other members of their society. It's good for us to do things for each other. Yesterday, we had a picnic, and he made sure everyone had a plate. He puts my shoes away when I ask him, and he brings me a blanket when I'm lying down in the living room with my tits out and I ask him to bring me a blanket.

https://www.verywellfamily.com/types-of-parenting-styles-1095045

What's important is recognizing where they are developmentally and helping them grow. When possible, natural consequences are the best. Threatening (or worse) to destroy a kid's social life over bedwetting is merely fucking with the kid's head. The natural consequence of wetting the bed is helping your parents change the bedding and getting the laundry started before going back to sleep. The natural consequence of not telling your parents that you wet the bed and trying to sleep in your own pee is getting cold because the water starts evaporating, so now you're too cold to sleep, and you eventually get up and tell your parents after all, because changing the bedding when you are tired isn't fun, but it's better than not being able to sleep at all. I speak from experience here. When you learn a lesson like that, you don't forget it.

If my kid started walking the 'momma's basement couch potato' path, I would buy airplane tickets to Indonesia, dump him on a virgin jungle with nothing but a machete and his shorts, an come back to pick him up three days later.

Repeat until he has learned to help himself.

You're going to get a dead kid that way.

 

[Prince_Azmiran_Myrian]

As I mentioned before, humans are intrinsically motivated to do things. You should see how my kid tries to put on his own shoes every day before I offer to help. He'll get it someday, and I don't need to push him for him to figure it out on his own. Humans also like to be liked by other members of their society. It's good for us to do things for each other. Yesterday, we had a picnic, and he made sure everyone had a plate. He puts my shoes away when I ask him, and he brings me a blanket when I'm lying down in the living room with my tits out and I ask him to bring me a blanket.

https://www.verywellfamily.com/types-of-parenting-styles-1095045

What's important is recognizing where they are developmentally and helping them grow. When possible, natural consequences are the best. Threatening (or worse) to destroy a kid's social life over bedwetting is merely fucking with the kid's head. The natural consequence of wetting the bed is helping your parents change the bedding and getting the laundry started before going back to sleep. The natural consequence of not telling your parents that you wet the bed and trying to sleep in your own pee is getting cold because the water starts evaporating, so now you're too cold to sleep, and you eventually get up and tell your parents after all, because changing the bedding when you are tired isn't fun, but it's better than not being able to sleep at all. I speak from experience here. When you learn a lesson like that, you don't forget it.

You're going to get a dead kid that way.

If you want your kid to move out, they cannot be dependent on you. And if they are directionless on what to do with their life, they cannot be independent.
Be a good parent by directing them the right way.
Excessive softness is a bad way to prepare them for a hard world. Bad things are going to happen to them whether it's their fault or not. Mental fortitude gained by struggling through obstacles, but more importantly from knowing the truth.

 

[K5Rakitan]

If you want your kid to move out, they cannot be dependent on you. And if they are directionless on what to do with their life, they cannot be independent.
Be a good parent by directing them the right way.
Excessive softness is a bad way to prepare them for a hard world. Bad things are going to happen to them whether it's their fault or not. Mental fortitude gained by struggling through obstacles, but more importantly from knowing the truth.

Duh. That's why I let him struggle to put on his shoes for a couple of minutes before helping him.

Back to the bedwetting example, excessive softness would be letting them sleep in your bed or a spare bed while the parent cleans up everything without assistance from the child. Now if the child is wetting the bed at an age where they are capable of completing the entire cleanup process on their own, it's time to talk to a doctor.

Again, threatening a kid's social life over bedwetting is cuel, and it does not help the child in any way. The child will encounter obstacles without the parent deliberately creating them. Other kids are going to tease them about their clothes, what they are eating for lunch, all sorts of other things. The parent is the one person a child is supposed to feel safe with, to talk with about how to navigate those other problems. If the child doesn't trust the parent, they won't have conversations with the parent about how to handle a hard world.

 

[RavenRunes]

yeah I'm not remotely worried about my boy. He hasn't wet anything since he was 3 and there is no chance of him ever being a layabout. He knows what he wants to do for a job and wants to get started asap. We're not strict, but we do demand certain standards in this house, one of them being that you pull your weight. No means no - I don't get whining and wheedling from him any more. No has only ever meant no and has never transmuted to yes through pestering.
I don't coddle him. I don't do much at all for him anymore because he can do it himself. If he did wet the bed (I think he did that about 3 times), yes he came in with me and we dealt with it in the morning (after stripping sheets, cleaning mattress and leaving it to dry, obvs). That wasn't remotely 'soft', that was sensible.
Anyway, the threats wouldn't wash with him because he'd only laugh. On the actually very rare occasions I do have to punish him, it's removal of xbox time! That's the only thing he's bothered about. He's not a particularly sensitive kid, I've taught him not to bother about what others think of him, same as I was, and he's popular at school.
Granted, if he were sensitive and not getting on well, those threats would not be a good way to go. But personality and individual situations apply: what would work wonders for one might well be the worst thing possible for another. That's up to you as a parent, you know your own child best.

 

[gaylolis]

if they don't want to do homework, tell them to do it at school since it's no longer a 'homework'.

 

[pelpelen]

Scaphism ​

 

[K5Rakitan]

yeah I'm not remotely worried about my boy. He hasn't wet anything since he was 3 and there is no chance of him ever being a layabout. He knows what he wants to do for a job and wants to get started asap. We're not strict, but we do demand certain standards in this house, one of them being that you pull your weight. No means no - I don't get whining and wheedling from him any more. No has only ever meant no and has never transmuted to yes through pestering.
I don't coddle him. I don't do much at all for him anymore because he can do it himself. If he did wet the bed (I think he did that about 3 times), yes he came in with me and we dealt with it in the morning (after stripping sheets, cleaning mattress and leaving it to dry, obvs). That wasn't remotely 'soft', that was sensible.
Anyway, the threats wouldn't wash with him because he'd only laugh. On the actually very rare occasions I do have to punish him, it's removal of xbox time! That's the only thing he's bothered about. He's not a particularly sensitive kid, I've taught him not to bother about what others think of him, same as I was, and he's popular at school.
Granted, if he were sensitive and not getting on well, those threats would not be a good way to go. But personality and individual situations apply: what would work wonders for one might well be the worst thing possible for another. That's up to you as a parent, you know your own child best.

Good to know! My son is 21 months old and cosleeping with me. He took off his diaper and peed in the bed last week, so now I'm enforcing pajamas that don't let him take off his diaper at night. He knows how to use the potty, but taking off his pants is still difficult for him, and he hasn't managed to put his pants on by himself yet, so he's partially potty trained. I get all his poop in the toilet because I recognize the look on his face when he needs to poop, and we've been doing that since he was two months old, but pee is a different story. I'm sure it will all snap into place for him soon. He likes his big boy underwear, so I sometimes tell him he can wear it if he goes pee-pee in the potty, and then he does, but then he pees in the big boy underwear a little while later and I get him back into his diaper immediately.

If he wants to sleep in his big boy underwear, he might have to sleep in his own bed. I'm still deciding how I want to play that, though.

 

[RavenRunes]

You'll know when, I did, and he's my first and only so it wasn't experience just intuition. Mine wouldn't touch the potty so it went out in the compost heap to biodegrade. I also let him 'run free' over the summer (just put a ton of towels out or stick him on the lawn if you have one) - I think that helped as I read somewhere Eastern European mothers do it, and get their kids out of nappies earlier.

We didn't start by co-sleeping, but ended up doing that. That was an accident - my mother came to stay and it meant my son had to be out of his cot (where he'd drop off perfectly fine) and into his big boy bed because it was a bunkbed and therefore had room for The Mothership (and the cot had to go, tiny room, couldn't fit both in). He wouldn't go in it. He was just about 24-26 months I think?. And that was that. Took FOREVER to get him into his own bed, I even made it into a fricking log cabin on the bottom with a 'hide' on the top - no luck. He'd play in it no prob but refused to sleep there. STILL isn't that keen, and every night it's 'can I sleep in your bed...'

I wish I'd told her no. But while I can tell him no, she is a different matter - and that is because she was always 'difficult' and people gave in to her as a kid and made a rod for everyone else's backs FFS.

Best piece of advice I was given was - never make a fuss. Be firm, but don't make a massive issue out of anything. So if he did wet, it was 'well you're going to get very cold on the way home then, with your wet legs' and that was all I said. It only happened that one time lol

 

[K5Rakitan]

You'll know when, I did, and he's my first and only so it wasn't experience just intuition. Mine wouldn't touch the potty so it went out in the compost heap to biodegrade. I also let him 'run free' over the summer (just put a ton of towels out or stick him on the lawn if you have one) - I think that helped as I read somewhere Eastern European mothers do it, and get their kids out of nappies earlier.

We didn't start by co-sleeping, but ended up doing that. That was an accident - my mother came to stay and it meant my son had to be out of his cot (where he'd drop off perfectly fine) and into his big boy bed because it was a bunkbed and therefore had room for The Mothership (and the cot had to go, tiny room, couldn't fit both in). He wouldn't go in it. He was just about 24-26 months I think?. And that was that. Took FOREVER to get him into his own bed, I even made it into a fricking log cabin on the bottom with a 'hide' on the top - no luck. He'd play in it no prob but refused to sleep there. STILL isn't that keen, and every night it's 'can I sleep in your bed...'

I wish I'd told her no. But while I can tell him no, she is a different matter - and that is because she was always 'difficult' and people gave in to her as a kid and made a rod for everyone else's backs FFS.

Best piece of advice I was given was - never make a fuss. Be firm, but don't make a massive issue out of anything. So if he did wet, it was 'well you're going to get very cold on the way home then, with your wet legs' and that was all I said. It only happened that one time lol

I took a human development course in university and planned to cosleep, but we got a free crib from Husband's cousin's friend, and then the hospital laid the scare on thick, so we tried the crib for two sleepless weeks until I dug up an article supporting what I learned in my university course a decade ago and gave it to my husband to read:

How Cosleeping Can Help You and Your Baby

The decision whether to cosleep with your baby is extremely controversial—and there are two sides to the story.

greatergood.berkeley.edu

Our son came out with a set of big, healthy lungs. Husband's brother said to let him "cry it out" and he'd be asleep in ten minutes. Well, he could cry for half an hour straight, and by that time, it was time to offer him my nipple again.

Anyway, we now have the crib mattress in the living room as a breastfeeding station and a place where I can sit on the floor comfortably while he plays. If I want to sit at my computer, he has to be in my lap or he starts pulling me around the room. I should be moving my desk to my office soon, though, so that's going to give me less time to access my computer but the time I spend at my computer won't be interrupted by Husband as much.

 

[MarukiLikesMikey]

Kid: Mother, I am excelling in the art of math and english-
Mom: C'mere timmy, time for more tit milk.

Kid's Mind: M-Mother- STOP-

REEEEEEEE ;w; im not funny
Y'know, I wanna punish this hot man.

 

[K5Rakitan]

Kid: Mother, I am excelling in the art of math and english-
Mom: C'mere timmy, time for more tit milk.

Kid's Mind: M-Mother- STOP-

Our pediatrician said that some kids wean themselves, so I'm going to respect my kid on that if he wants to stop before I do. I don't see that happening anytime soon, though, so I'm prepared to keep it up for at least three years, possibly up to five because that's what our species evolved to do. I might get tired of it and want to stop before he does. I don't know how my feelings will change over the next few years, especially in response to external pressures such at the case in point you are presenting right now.

REEEEEEEE ;w; im not funny

Correct. Countless children are cheated out of receiving the best possible nutrition by various pressures in our society including people who make "jokes" like this towards families with emotionally sensitive individuals.

 

[RavenRunes]

I think I stopped B-feeding completely at about 24 months. From six months he had half breast and half bottle, as I had to be at work. I did express but that was awkward in the end. So he'd just have the b-feeds in the evenings. He's barely sick, almost as tall as me (I'm 5'2") so I think he got his nutrition.
I think they did studies that basically said, after the kid's about 3 yrs (?) the breast milk ceases to have relevant nutritional value? More than any other milk anyway. I simply didn't have time or patience after he was 2. He made it clear he would have carried on a bit longer and even now, occasionally laments the lack, but tough, sonny! There's milk in the fridge!

I was only breast fed til 6 months, and while I am fit as a fiddle now, more or less, I wasn't as a child. Both me and him were c-section births (me late, him early).

I don't think there's any evidence to suggest that Mommy's milk after a certain age creates serial killers or 'adults' like bloody Borat up there with mommy issues....

 

[K5Rakitan]

I think I stopped B-feeding completely at about 24 months. From six months he had half breast and half bottle, as I had to be at work. I did express but that was awkward in the end. So he'd just have the b-feeds in the evenings. He's barely sick, almost as tall as me (I'm 5'2") so I think he got his nutrition.
I think they did studies that basically said, after the kid's about 3 yrs (?) the breast milk ceases to have relevant nutritional value? More than any other milk anyway. I simply didn't have time or patience after he was 2. He made it clear he would have carried on a bit longer and even now, occasionally laments the lack, but tough, sonny! There's milk in the fridge!

I was only breast fed til 6 months, and while I am fit as a fiddle now, more or less, I wasn't as a child. Both me and him were c-section births (me late, him early).

I don't think there's any evidence to suggest that Mommy's milk after a certain age creates serial killers or 'adults' like bloody Borat up there with mommy issues....

That's better than I got! I got 4 months (technically less than that because they put me on partial formula at 1 month) and that was what the doctor told my mom would be good enough at the time. I was a pound under my birth weight at one month because nobody taught my mom how to latch. She only realized that after reading a book I gave her watching me with my son.

I was a vaginal birth and so was my son. I'm mostly healthy, but I have difficulty controlling my weight, and so do all my aunts and uncles on my mom's side, a total of five kids. My maternal grandmother didn't breastfeed at all. She also died of lung cancer from smoking when my mom was in university, so I never got to meet her.

My milk came in late, and my son was 15% below his birth weight when we brought him to the pediatrician the day after taking him home from the hospital, so we had my son on partial formula until six weeks, but then it was all my milk until the pediatrician said we could introduce solids at four months, mainly just to expose him to common allergens, not for lack of adequate calories by that point. I was smearing peanut butter on my nipples for a while there.