Jokes Thread

[ZynGrand]

Toucan play at that game.

Isn't it supposed to be "toucan play that game."?

 

[ZynGrand]

Four people were in a tunnel.

The optimist saw the light at the end of the tunnel.

The pessimist saw the darkness surrounding them.

The realist saw the two ends of the tunnel, and the darkness between.

The engineer saw three idiots bumbling down the train tracks.

 

[gaylolis]

"I love you."

"I love you too."

"I love you three."

"..."

"I love you four."

 

[mrsimple]

A joke by Turtlebird.

"My boss told me to have a good day...

...so I went home."

 

[BenJepheneT]

What's black, white and red all over?

A penguin in a blender.

 

[mrsimple]

What's black, white and red all over?

A penguin in a blender.

The same could be said about a panda, but don't ask me how it got in there.

 

[Assurbanipal_II]

Ah classic.

Dad: I never told you this but, my great grandfather died in the holocaust.

Me: Oh, man that's terrible.

Dad: Yeah, he got really drunk one night and fell off of the guard tower.

 

[Wretch]

Can a cross eyed teacher control her pupils?
I try wearing tight jeans, but I can never pull them off.
On the other hand you have different fingers.
Did you hear about the guy whose left side got cut off? He’s all right now.
My teacher won’t fart in public he’s a private tutor.

Go ahead and groan.

 

[BenJepheneT]

What's a Mexican's favourite sport?
Cross-country.