Monkey's Paw

[BenJepheneT]

Granted, you get a plastic tobi mask


I want a chocolate factory

Granted, it's starting to melt.

I want to break free.

 

[Localforeigner]

Granted, you have broken free of gravity's cruel demands, goodbye.

I want everyone to have a good life.

 

[Spica66]

Granted, you have broken free of gravity's cruel demands, goodbye.

I want everyone to have a good life.

Granted, but they all live in simulation where the real world is dystopia.

I don't want to be lazy.

 

[CadmarLegend]

Granted, but they all live in simulation where the real world is dystopia.

I don't want to be lazy.

Granted, but your body overheats from the exercise and you die.

I wish for the person who comments after to have the best day ever!

 

[High-in-the-skys]

Granted, but your body overheats from the exercise and you die.

I wish for the person who comments after to have the best day ever!

Granted, but I would have to suffer for the rest of the year after this day.

I wish for the person after me to successfully watch every episode of one piece

 

[CadmarLegend]

Granted, but I would have to suffer for the rest of the year after this day.

I wish for the person who quote me to successfully watch every episode of one piece

Granted, but my TV, phone, iPad, computer, etc. all broke.

I wish for living the worst life possible for one day.

 

[WasatchWind]

Granted, but my TV, phone, iPad, computer, etc. all broke.

I wish for living the worst life possible for one day.

Granted, but what seems like a day to everyone else is actually you experiencing the worst day everyone who's ever lived has experienced.

I wish for a pastrami sandwich that has had all the ingredients sourced ethically, stored in a sanitary way, refrigerated properly, and was cooked thoroughly and properly.

At the time that I have put the sandwich in my mouth, it is completely clean. The sandwich is held firmly in my fingers so it can't fall apart. My teeth are well maintained so they won't fall out. I do not have any other medical problems that would keep me from enjoying the sandwich.

I have armed bodyguards of my lost trusted friends who will protect me should anything try to prevent from enjoying my sandwich.

That's my wish.

 

[CadmarLegend]

Granted, but what seems like a day to everyone else is actually you experiencing the worst day everyone who's ever lived has experienced.

Ur wish?

 

[WasatchWind]

Ur wish?

edited in above

 

[CadmarLegend]

Granted, but what seems like a day to everyone else is actually you experiencing the worst day everyone who's ever lived has experienced.

I wish for a pastrami sandwich that has had all the ingredients sourced ethically, stored in a sanitary way, refrigerated properly, and was cooked thoroughly and properly.

At the time that I have put the sandwich in my mouth, it is completely clean. The sandwich is held firmly in my fingers so it can't fall apart. My teeth are well maintained so they won't fall out. I do not have any other medical problems that would keep me from enjoying the sandwich.

I have armed bodyguards of my lost trusted friends who will protect me should anything try to prevent from enjoying my sandwich.

That's my wish.

Granted, but all your bodyguards died afterwards, because the sandwich you ate was the last source of food on Earth. You never even shared the food with your bodyguards. After that, because of hunger, you died.


I wish that my house stayed perfect for all eternity, my garden of foods stayed clèan for all eternity, I yielded the best crops for all eternity, and that I never died.

 

[Napelynn]

Granted, but all your bodyguards died afterwards, because the sandwich you ate was the last source of food on Earth. You never even shared the food with your bodyguards. After that, because of hunger, you died.


I wish that my house stayed perfect for all eternity, my garden of foods stayed clèan for all eternity, I yielded the best crops for all eternity, and that I never died.

Granted, but only because you and your house were shoved outside the space-time continuum so you don’t age, your house can’t become imperfect, your garden can’t become dirty, also no one else yields crops anymore so you have the best ones.

I wish to become the smartest person in the world without killing everyone else or making them dumb.

 

[WasatchWind]

Granted, but only because you and your house were shoved outside the space-time continuum so you don’t age, your house can’t become imperfect, your garden can’t become dirty, also no one else yields crops anymore so you have the best ones.

I wish to become the smartest person in the world without killing everyone else or making them dumb.

You do become insanely smart, smarter than anyone has ever been, but it isn't consistent. Some days you seem to comprehend all, other days you could be so stupid you have trouble understanding basic sentences.

With the days you are smart however, you are so intelligent that you discover the world is ending. Stricken with grief, you outline a extremely precise plan to change future timelines, but it will require you to assassinate the rulers of many countries, and harm a large number of innocent people, all so you can have a small chance of saving a small part of the world.

 

[Napelynn]

You do become insanely smart, smarter than anyone has ever been, but it isn't consistent. Some days you seem to comprehend all, other days you could be so stupid you have trouble understanding basic sentences.

With the days you are smart however, you are so intelligent that you discover the world is ending. Stricken with grief, you outline a extremely precise plan to change future timelines, but it will require you to assassinate the rulers of many countries, and harm a large number of innocent people, all so you can have a small chance of saving a small part of the world.

@WakerOfWinds you didn't make a wish

 

[WasatchWind]

@WakerOfWinds you didn't make a wish

I wish to be able to turn into any animal I want and then back to being my normal human self.

 

[Napelynn]

I wish to be able to turn into any animal I want and then back to being my normal human self.

Granted, however you do it by killing an animal, opening them like a jacket, and putting them on. Additionally, each animal skin has its own set of memories, so if become a turtle you will forget your human life, once you turn back into a human you will remember your human life again, but forget your turtle life. If you go back into the turtle, you will remember your time as a turtle and forget your time as a human again. If you go into a honey badger you will forget both the turtle and human lives. If you go into a different turtle, you won't gain the memories of the original turtle. Also, when you go into an animal, your intelligence is reduced to the same level as that animal. You will fully become the animal, both in appearance and actions.

I wish for the ability to teleport.

 

[CadmarLegend]

Granted, however you do it by killing an animal, opening them like a jacket, and putting them on. Additionally, each animal skin has its own set of memories, so if become a turtle you will forget your human life, once you turn back into a human you will remember your human life again, but forget your turtle life. If you go back into the turtle, you will remember your time as a turtle and forget your time as a human again. If you go into a honey badger you will forget both the turtle and human lives. If you go into a different turtle, you won't gain the memories of the original turtle. Also, when you go into an animal, your intelligence is reduced to the same level as that animal. You will fully become the animal, both in appearance and actions.

I wish for the ability to teleport.

Granted, but you can only teleport when naked.

I wish to not have anything bad happen to me.

 

[Napelynn]

Granted, but you can only teleport when naked.

I wish to not have anything bad happen to me.

Granted, but you are locked up so while nothing bad happens to you, it's more like nothing happens to you.

I wish to not have my wish twisted

 

[CadmarLegend]

Granted, but you are locked up so while nothing bad happens to you, it's more like nothing happens to you.

I wish to not have my wish twisted

Granted, but you die a sudden death because you didn't wish for something specific, and I had to choose.

I wish to own a piece of hay.

 

[Napelynn]

Granted, but you die a sudden death because you didn't wish for something specific, and I had to choose.

I wish to own a piece of hay.

Granted, but it's covered in poison so you die.

I wish to own a harmless piece of hay

 

[CadmarLegend]

Granted, but it's covered in poison so you die.

I wish to own a harmless piece of hay

Granted, but that's the only other thing in the world.

I wish for Nothing.