Post your characters, and I'll tell you what I think of them from my reader's perspective.

[TheMonotonePuppet]

It was just an example. No need to be so harsh.

I am describing it as tersely as he does in his responses and it’s not exaggeration either. I don’t see the issue in mimicking the tone and atmosphere of the forum.

Because it is a bunch of stereotypes. I thought of it in a few minutes as I don't have time to think of an interesting example. The point was to show how to describe, not what to describe.

I can understand that. Wouldn’t amend my statement but I do understand trying to quickly get out what you have in mind.

 

[Paul_Tromba]

I am describing it as tersely as he does in his responses and it’s not exaggeration either. I don’t see the issue in mimicking the tone and atmosphere of the forum.

Fair enough.

I don't know why, but I can't unsee her resemblance to Yubaba. I think I like her personality. Though I would say she is somewhat too good.

That's fair. She may seem good but she would willingly kill someone mafia-style if it meant protecting her own. She may be good to her own people but she can be quite evil to everyone else.

 

[matalayudasleazy]

Here we go, your typical weak-to-strong MC in a world of power maniacs and monsters and celestial beings.

Name : Arlan Gritt (previously Ahlan Hassani from Indonesia)

Backstory :
- Old Life born as a second son from Indonesian Muslim couple,
Ahlan Hassani while being a high-schooler isn't doing well after he helped an elderly couple which happened to be surrounded by men in white cloaked robes and beat up in the process but managed to go home but managed to heal his wounds.
The news picked up as he is recorded and his family is razed with bombardments of questions and the paparazzi when they weren't looking.
Relationship with his parents, especially his Mother, went downhill after she goes against her own saying "Help those in need" by saying "You shouldn't have helped", and rebels against them by turning a delinquent but still a caring man who helps those in need despite his looks.

In college, he and his squad on a bus was kidnapped by the same men white cloaked robes, and the many events there happened to kill him in many ways.
Unknowingly, awakened some kind of Unyealding Will within him to die and live on despite the loss of blood, the turning point when he starts to change once more to a more reserved outlook on life.

Their family moved to New Zealand, Wellington because of the high rates of vandalism, separatism, and corruption acted by both the people and the government.
Makes a living as a Script Writer on a game company, lives alone at an apartment which happened to be where his female workboss is and then blossomed a relationship with her which his Mother aren't eager about.
Made some friends at their workplace and bonds with them over time, so much so that until his last breath, he took many hits and wounds for them to escape even though they are in vain.

- New Life as a descendant of both a Sirenkin and Wolfman,
but tampered with a certain curse from that world known as an 'Enblightening', a phenomena which transports souls of dead individuals to newborn vessels and incurs upon them great wraith aside from those strong enough to even greet him.
Was given an opportunity at a young age to be given some kind of Might Above All by an Anynomous Celestial Being of that world in his dreams, but declined because he love being challenged, and so he is targeted for he is the Anomaly that the Being fears one of these Enblightened to be, one of the few to decline its offerings, a True Human Being.

Appearance :
- A little taller than average (180+ cm).
- White slicked-back hair, dark black eyes, skin is white and almost paler than most people on the New World.
- Often listen to music and audiobook with ear devices.
- At times wear eyeglasses inside libraries or when attending events.
- Is picky with what he wears for the day, fashionable with many things from casual to social outfits.
- Starts to get toned around the age of 16 with intensive training from the academy his parents pointed him to.

Personality :
- Often is playful and keeps a calculated and calm outlook despite the mockery and indirect scorn people gave to him.
- Dislikes anything that is Magic as they goes against his tenets as a Muslim which does not hold Magic at high regards, dislikes anything that looks uncomfortable for his neck including tight suits and chokers and especially metal chains, dislikes fanatics even especially if they are from the same belief as he is.
- Likes the firearms and technological advancements that the New World has come to realize even though there is Magic for that, likes people who speak out their thoughts and are able to conversate well despite it, likes people who meant well and does their best to help others.
- Has secret fetishes for women with jilbabs; women with sharp-teeth; older women with sincere personality even through their exterior; and separately boyish traits and looks.
- Sees people's worth in their actions and speech, while also being wary of the backgrounds and originality.
- Bashful when he is cornered by the opposite sex with masculine physique and obsessive traits but always try to maintain a carefree attitude when it happens.
- Thoughtful of people who needs personal space and caresses them with sincerity and kindness if they look as if they're about to hit a breaking point.
- Has a perspective of appreciating every little things, including what changes his friends have and those who harbor secretive feelings for him, and may commentate on them depending on the occasion of things.

Traits :
- Doesn't swear a lot but curses at times to counteract whenever the primal urges/horniness are exceeding his limits so as to make sure people from the opposite sex ward off from him.
- Sociable to almost everyone he meets, will sincerely tell people who appeared out of thin air or with hidden agendas to buzz off even if they are his parents and friends.
- Cook stuffs, and that includes having the knowledge on repairing Old Tech and making his own after his first Turning Point in the New World.
- Gives life counseling and advices even if not asked to, from people who wanted to cheat with their love partner, people with suicidal thoughts, and especially those with complexes regarding their family.
- Reads Qur'an in a quiet place where not many pedestrians are, holds the principles and teachings from it very dearly to his heart.
- Believes that God is only One and He's out there, does not care that much about His names but knows that He is always with Him at every step of the way.

Power/Skills :
- Passive Ability to render almost any Magic back to their original or weakened form, from Fire to Ashes, Ice to Water, Magma to Rocks, etc.
- High mobility and keen eyes on adrenaline-rushing combat, will use whatever necessary for him to win in a dirty fight, will go by the rule if its a fair fight.
- When angered beyond his threshold, switches to a cold-exuding persona which made everyone near him to only hear the sound of their heartbeat and movements from him, the background goes blurry and at times gone altogether and replaced with a static white void, where not even the Hero/Heroine can do anything aside from standing still and prepare for the worst.

 

[SailusGebel]

Here we go, your typical weak-to-strong MC in a world of power maniacs and monsters and celestial beings.

Name : Arlan Gritt (previously Ahlan Hassani from Indonesia)

Backstory :
- Old Life born as a second son from Indonesian Muslim couple,
Ahlan Hassani while being a high-schooler isn't doing well after he helped an elderly couple which happened to be surrounded by men in white cloaked robes and beat up in the process but managed to go home but managed to heal his wounds.
The news picked up as he is recorded and his family is razed with bombardments of questions and the paparazzi when they weren't looking.
Relationship with his parents, especially his Mother, went downhill after she goes against her own saying "Help those in need" by saying "You shouldn't have helped", and rebels against them by turning a delinquent but still a caring man who helps those in need despite his looks.

In college, he and his squad on a bus was kidnapped by the same men white cloaked robes, and the many events there happened to kill him in many ways.
Unknowingly, awakened some kind of Unyealding Will within him to die and live on despite the loss of blood, the turning point when he starts to change once more to a more reserved outlook on life.

Their family moved to New Zealand, Wellington because of the high rates of vandalism, separatism, and corruption acted by both the people and the government.
Makes a living as a Script Writer on a game company, lives alone at an apartment which happened to be where his female workboss is and then blossomed a relationship with her which his Mother aren't eager about.
Made some friends at their workplace and bonds with them over time, so much so that until his last breath, he took many hits and wounds for them to escape even though they are in vain.

- New Life as a descendant of both a Sirenkin and Wolfman,
but tampered with a certain curse from that world known as an 'Enblightening', a phenomena which transports souls of dead individuals to newborn vessels and incurs upon them great wraith aside from those strong enough to even greet him.
Was given an opportunity at a young age to be given some kind of Might Above All by an Anynomous Celestial Being of that world in his dreams, but declined because he love being challenged, and so he is targeted for he is the Anomaly that the Being fears one of these Enblightened to be, one of the few to decline its offerings, a True Human Being.

Appearance :
- A little taller than average (180+ cm).
- White slicked-back hair, dark black eyes, skin is white and almost paler than most people on the New World.
- Often listen to music and audiobook with ear devices.
- At times wear eyeglasses inside libraries or when attending events.
- Is picky with what he wears for the day, fashionable with many things from casual to social outfits.
- Starts to get toned around the age of 16 with intensive training from the academy his parents pointed him to.

Personality :
- Often is playful and keeps a calculated and calm outlook despite the mockery and indirect scorn people gave to him.
- Dislikes anything that is Magic as they goes against his tenets as a Muslim which does not hold Magic at high regards, dislikes anything that looks uncomfortable for his neck including tight suits and chokers and especially metal chains, dislikes fanatics even especially if they are from the same belief as he is.
- Likes the firearms and technological advancements that the New World has come to realize even though there is Magic for that, likes people who speak out their thoughts and are able to conversate well despite it, likes people who meant well and does their best to help others.
- Has secret fetishes for women with jilbabs; women with sharp-teeth; older women with sincere personality even through their exterior; and separately boyish traits and looks.
- Sees people's worth in their actions and speech, while also being wary of the backgrounds and originality.
- Bashful when he is cornered by the opposite sex with masculine physique and obsessive traits but always try to maintain a carefree attitude when it happens.
- Thoughtful of people who needs personal space and caresses them with sincerity and kindness if they look as if they're about to hit a breaking point.
- Has a perspective of appreciating every little things, including what changes his friends have and those who harbor secretive feelings for him, and may commentate on them depending on the occasion of things.

Traits :
- Doesn't swear a lot but curses at times to counteract whenever the primal urges/horniness are exceeding his limits so as to make sure people from the opposite sex ward off from him.
- Sociable to almost everyone he meets, will sincerely tell people who appeared out of thin air or with hidden agendas to buzz off even if they are his parents and friends.
- Cook stuffs, and that includes having the knowledge on repairing Old Tech and making his own after his first Turning Point in the New World.
- Gives life counseling and advices even if not asked to, from people who wanted to cheat with their love partner, people with suicidal thoughts, and especially those with complexes regarding their family.
- Reads Qur'an in a quiet place where not many pedestrians are, holds the principles and teachings from it very dearly to his heart.
- Believes that God is only One and He's out there, does not care that much about His names but knows that He is always with Him at every step of the way.

Power/Skills :
- Passive Ability to render almost any Magic back to their original or weakened form, from Fire to Ashes, Ice to Water, Magma to Rocks, etc.
- High mobility and keen eyes on adrenaline-rushing combat, will use whatever necessary for him to win in a dirty fight, will go by the rule if its a fair fight.
- When angered beyond his threshold, switches to a cold-exuding persona which made everyone near him to only hear the sound of their heartbeat and movements from him, the background goes blurry and at times gone altogether and replaced with a static white void, where not even the Hero/Heroine can do anything aside from standing still and prepare for the worst.

Man... that's a lot... Err... I don't even know what to say. Do you understand this isn't a critique thread and I state my subjective like\dislike? I don't like his appearence and personality. Appearence is generic to me. He looks like MC of mercenary enrollment with a few tweaks. I'm not a fan of such appearence. As for personality, he's too perfect. I don't like perfect characters.

 

[A-Thousand-ideas]

Hello SailusGebels i'm back again. Can you read the new series i made called New World, Same Wars. I've tried to edit and improve my grammar on it. i know its better than my last one.
Be blunt on reviewing it. thank you!.

https://www.scribblehub.com/series/803310/new-world-same-wars/

 

[SailusGebel]

Hello SailusGebels i'm back again. Can you read the new series i made called New World, Same Wars. I've tried to edit and improve my grammar on it. i know its better than my last one.
Be blunt on reviewing it. thank you!.

https://www.scribblehub.com/series/803310/new-world-same-wars/

Wrong thread brother.

 

[RepresentingEnvy]

 

[OatMush]

Actually can I resurrect this thread? If so may I present for your esteemed consideration:
Edit: oops I think it is dead

Pimple of Perrifare
Food motivated kleptomaniac goblin from Mars.

Abilities
Can make people she touches explode, recoil may break her arm if she's overzealous. She can make herself weightless or weigh 10x more but only for as long she holds her breath, then suffers a temporary silly personality modifier. Flying makes her emotional and easily distracted like a happy drunk, while becoming heavy makes her narrow minded and slightly sociopathic. She can with difficulty learn other spells but all come with different downsides/personality modifiers. Like fireball makes her angry, ice makes her depressed, curses make her petty, etc. Personality modifiers can stack and increase in duration the more spells she casts. Hilarity ensues.

Likes
- Trinkets
- her friends
- the sea
- finishing plates of food (uneaten food in front of her makes her anxious)
- sex with handsome men and women.

Dislikes
- leaving behind Trinkets and people
- the mainland
- the oppressive traditions of her culture
- orcs who want to add her to their harems
- aubergine

Deepest irrational fear
Ogres

Deepest rational fear
Humans

 

[AdOtherwise]

The original idea for this thread belongs to always handsome @LinXueLian

I thought her thread, and a couple of similar ones were cool. I wanted to revive them for a long time. Necroing is against the rules, so I'm making a new thread and combining all the similar ones. You can post whoever you want here. Male, female, animal, the main character, side villain, mob character, a character from unpublished work, from published work, from a training piece, whatever you want.

Rules are easy.
1. You post one character at a time. If you want to post one more, wait for another forum user to ask, or at least wait for my reply.

2. You describe how your character looks. You can use an image, you can write it, or use both methods.

3. You describe the personality of your character. You can also add hobbies, favorite food, whatever you want or need to mention. Preferably, make it 5-7 sentences long. Don't be afraid to write spoilers via spoiler button. I need to know why the character is like that to make an opinion. Moreover, chances are high that I won't read your story. So don't be afraid to spoil it for me.

4. Wait for me to reply.

This isn't a critique or review, I won't deconstruct your character. I won't give advice or tips(unless you ask for it). I will state whether I like your character or not. I'm only going to share my personal, subjective opinion.

MC is a blank slate, one that is slightly unique but not really. Only through his environment does he become unique, he is broken down to be carved into a person who has unhealthy obsessions. Most of these obsessions are about the people around him, they are the only people he has and due to him not ever having a home, they are all they he had.

These obsessions lead to him going down a dark path, leading to him losing everything. He loses his mind and becomes a semi-insane psychopath whose only goal is to escape the influence of his environment and mind through extreme measures. This leads to developments in his mind, causing it to splinter into two.

His identity becomes muddled, and he faces the reality that what he's doing is destroying him, he has to decide what he will become and do. Also, he likes doing experiments, and is also extremely curious, to the point he would easily put his life on the line.

The pictures are kind of like a beginning, middle, and result. (How he changed due to his inanity as you will.)

 

[SailusGebel]

Actually can I resurrect this thread? If so may I present for your esteemed consideration:
Edit: oops I think it is dead

Pimple of Perrifare
Food motivated kleptomaniac goblin from Mars.

Abilities
Can make people she touches explode, recoil may break her arm if she's overzealous. She can make herself weightless or weigh 10x more but only for as long she holds her breath, then suffers a temporary silly personality modifier. Flying makes her emotional and easily distracted like a happy drunk, while becoming heavy makes her narrow minded and slightly sociopathic. She can with difficulty learn other spells but all come with different downsides/personality modifiers. Like fireball makes her angry, ice makes her depressed, curses make her petty, etc. Personality modifiers can stack and increase in duration the more spells she casts. Hilarity ensues.

Likes
- Trinkets
- her friends
- the sea
- finishing plates of food (uneaten food in front of her makes her anxious)
- sex with handsome men and women.

Dislikes
- leaving behind Trinkets and people
- the mainland
- the oppressive traditions of her culture
- orcs who want to add her to their harems
- aubergine

Deepest irrational fear
Ogres

Deepest rational fear
Humans

Not dead, I am simply busy. I can't form my opinion on her, as you mostly descirbed her powers, and I don't really care about powers. I want to learn her flaws, her strong points, a tiny little bit of backstory. Likes, dislikes, fear, and so on, on their own, don't do anything. They add to the personality, which you omitted.

As for looks, well, she is a goblin, a pink one. If she is a shortstack I like her.

MC is a blank slate, one that is slightly unique but not really. Only through his environment does he become unique, he is broken down to be carved into a person who has unhealthy obsessions. Most of these obsessions are about the people around him, they are the only people he has and due to him not ever having a home, they are all they he had.

These obsessions lead to him going down a dark path, leading to him losing everything. He loses his mind and becomes a semi-insane psychopath whose only goal is to escape the influence of his environment and mind through extreme measures. This leads to developments in his mind, causing it to splinter into two.

His identity becomes muddled, and he faces the reality that what he's doing is destroying him, he has to decide what he will become and do. Also, he likes doing experiments, and is also extremely curious, to the point he would easily put his life on the line.

The pictures are kind of like a beginning, middle, and result. (How he changed due to his inanity as you will.)

I like everything with the exception of experiments and curiosity. I don't think it fits, and I think it makes him more generic. As for looks, don't know what to say. I like the first one, but I don't like the second and third one. I dislike second and third because I think the described inner change doesn't correspond with the outer change. Obviously this is only my opinion.

 

[Sylverius]

Kier Aagney Sylverius, a lonely King.

Kier, at the beginning of the story, is a childish boy (seeing as he had just gotten born) along with his 5 other friends. Kier wants to master all the elements because of how cool he'd look to the ladies and men if he were to be a powerful mage who knows all the elements. Sadly, mages are shunned due to the fact that they need to chant the magic, but he doesn't care. As the story progresses, he gets more matured, but still makes a lot of mistakes. He's weak to pressure, and is quite easygoing, yet he's straightforward in his words. Whatever you throw at him doesn't phase him, but the moment his loved ones are mocked, that's when he gets very mad. This all changes as he grows older, his patience growing longer, and wisdom growing with experience.

Spoiler: spoiler

In the end of the story, all of his loved ones die, and his depression eats him away. He chooses to sacrifice himself for the world his friends and family protected, because that's the only thing he can do at that point on, due to the fact that he has no one left to be with. Thus, for the remainder of his life, he's not hailed as a hero, but rather, a seal that constantly threatens any and all possible threats, and a reminder that once he dies and humanity is unprepared, they will all die.

I tried to fit as much as I can, so I'm sorry if it's too wordy. I'd have loved to put in more, but I might be stretching my limits if I were to do that.

 

[OatMush]

Not dead, I am simply busy. I can't form my opinion on her, as you mostly described her powers, and I don't really care about powers. I want to learn her flaws, her strong points, a tiny little bit of backstory. Likes, dislikes, fear, and so on, on their own, don't do anything. They add to the personality, which you omitted.

Thankyou for the feedback.

To be honest the main reason I excluded her personality is because I'm having issues defining her. The first version of the story was 30,000 words and I realised in all those words I basically never actually communicated her personally. I made a mistake I think a lot of new writers make were because I know what she's like, I forgot to actually include that in the story.

So in my offline rewrite I'm fixing that and uh... Accidentally made an actual child. She's naive, dumb, curious and has a short attention span. I like those traits, but on a small character mostly interacting with people much larger and older than her.... I made a busty loli. People can write what they want but with the contents of my story being what they are, I don't like how I rewrote her.
So what I'm settling on now is:

She grew up on a small farm on a small isolated island with less than 50 people on it. She has a lot of child-like wonder as she leaves the island and is very excited by all the cool shit on mars. She is hard working and polite but because she was the youngest on her island and quite cute, she was spoiled a little too much and really doesn't like being ignored. She tends to bottle up her anger and when she's finally overwhelmed she explodes. Otherwise she's quiete and contemplative.

Pimple isn't a mean person, she tries to see the good in others even if it isn't there, goblins are very social creatures (there's no 'i' in Hoard) and she makes friends quite quickly. Whenever plot isolates her she becomes very anxious. Food and kleptomaniacy help calm her down though, everything is better after eating and finding new Trinkets.

Due to her upbringing, Pimple's understanding of the world is mostly shaped by myths and stories, which tend to be very extreme.
For plot convenience, she's pretty much a polyglot. She speaks three languages well, and a fourth poorly, but to keep things moving she learns knew ones very quickly.

Hope that's a better character description. I think I'm going to keep working on her personality though.

As for looks, well, she is a goblin, a pink one. If she is a shortstack I like her.

Yeah you get it.

 

[SailusGebel]

Kier Aagney Sylverius, a lonely King.

Kier, at the beginning of the story, is a childish boy (seeing as he had just gotten born) along with his 5 other friends. Kier wants to master all the elements because of how cool he'd look to the ladies and men if he were to be a powerful mage who knows all the elements. Sadly, mages are shunned due to the fact that they need to chant the magic, but he doesn't care. As the story progresses, he gets more matured, but still makes a lot of mistakes. He's weak to pressure, and is quite easygoing, yet he's straightforward in his words. Whatever you throw at him doesn't phase him, but the moment his loved ones are mocked, that's when he gets very mad. This all changes as he grows older, his patience growing longer, and wisdom growing with experience.

Spoiler: spoiler

In the end of the story, all of his loved ones die, and his depression eats him away. He chooses to sacrifice himself for the world his friends and family protected, because that's the only thing he can do at that point on, due to the fact that he has no one left to be with. Thus, for the remainder of his life, he's not hailed as a hero, but rather, a seal that constantly threatens any and all possible threats, and a reminder that once he dies and humanity is unprepared, they will all die.

I tried to fit as much as I can, so I'm sorry if it's too wordy. I'd have loved to put in more, but I might be stretching my limits if I were to do that.

View attachment 23850

I don't dislike him, but I can't say I like him either. I would say he is too good, and it makes it hard for me to like him. At the same time, I can kinda picture the development he had, so I can't dislike him.

As for looks, I don't like him. Sure he is handsome, but to my taste he is way too feminine. I'm kinda tired of feminine men at the moment.

Thankyou for the feedback.

It was not a feedback. I simply stated my opinion, so don't take it too close to your heart.

Thankyou for the feedback.

To be honest the main reason I excluded her personality is because I'm having issues defining her. The first version of the story was 30,000 words and I realised in all those words I basically never actually communicated her personally. I made a mistake I think a lot of new writers make were because I know what she's like, I forgot to actually include that in the story.

So in my offline rewrite I'm fixing that and uh... Accidentally made an actual child. She's naive, dumb, curious and has a short attention span. I like those traits, but on a small character mostly interacting with people much larger and older than her.... I made a busty loli. People can write what they want but with the contents of my story being what they are, I don't like how I rewrote her.

I don't think she is a busty loli. The traits you have described here does not exclusively belong to child characters, even the combintations of those traits. If she is from some kind of a rural region, it explains how she came to be like that. More than that, if I understood everything correctly, it is her initial state, right? Without the actual development that will come later in the story. And it is good. I actually like it, as she has actual flaws. It can show how much she grows.

So what I'm settling on now is:

She grew up on a small farm on a small isolated island with less than 50 people on it. She has a lot of child-like wonder as she leaves the island and is very excited by all the cool shit on mars. She is hard working and polite but because she was the youngest on her island and quite cute, she was spoiled a little too much and really doesn't like being ignored. She tends to bottle up her anger and when she's finally overwhelmed she explodes. Otherwise she's quiete and contemplative.

Pimple isn't a mean person, she tries to see the good in others even if it isn't there, goblins are very social creatures (there's no 'i' in Hoard) and she makes friends quite quickly. Whenever plot isolates her she becomes very anxious. Food and kleptomaniacy help calm her down though, everything is better after eating and finding new Trinkets.

Due to her upbringing, Pimple's understanding of the world is mostly shaped by myths and stories, which tend to be very extreme.
For plot convenience, she's pretty much a polyglot. She speaks three languages well, and a fourth poorly, but to keep things moving she learns knew ones very quickly.

Hope that's a better character description. I think I'm going to keep working on her personality though.

Well, now I feel stupid for writing the stuff above. Whatever, I like her, but a tiny little bit less since you took away a couple of flaws, or smoothed them. For me to like her the same, I would ask to keep the naivety, but maybe tone it down a little? It would act as a good flaw, that fits her character, and something she can get rid of once she grows mentally.

 

[Sylverius]

I don't dislike him, but I can't say I like him either. I would say he is too good, and it makes it hard for me to like him. At the same time, I can kinda picture the development he had, so I can't dislike him.

I see... I'm not sure if it's the kind of answer I was looking for, but I'll know when others read it. I couldn't put more since then I'd be pushing the 5-7 sentences rule even farther than ever, so I'll leave it at that.

As for looks, I don't like him. Sure he is handsome, but to my taste he is way too feminine. I'm kinda tired of feminine men at the moment.

Noted. I was actually thinking of going for a more androgynous appearance you see, since that too plays a part in the story, but still, thank you for your honest response, it was much needed since I hadn't written for 2 years.

 

[SailusGebel]

I see... I'm not sure if it's the kind of answer I was looking for, but I'll know when others read it. I couldn't put more since then I'd be pushing the 5-7 sentences rule even farther than ever, so I'll leave it at that.

Noted. I was actually thinking of going for a more androgynous appearance you see, since that too plays a part in the story, but still, thank you for your honest response, it was much needed since I hadn't written for 2 years.

Don't forget this is my subjective opinion. It has zero objectivity. So, even if I dislike him, it doesn't mean he is a bad character.

About appearance, yeah, androgynous might be more interesting. But, honestly, genshin, arknights, and similar games kinda flooded the marked with feminine men, that's why I'm a little bit tired. Again, it's a me thing, and I definetely can see how others would like him.

 

[Sweetmeat]

Here's my two main characters for Scion: City of Sin. I know you said to only post one at a time, but some pieces of one character are needed to fully understand the other. If that's not okay, feel free to just give an opinion about the first.

Spoiler: Victor

Male Lead (POV character) - Victor is a netrunner who works freelance in the seedy Lower Districts of Scion. After a degenerative disease was slowly causing him to go blind, he was forced to borrow money from a loan shark to pay for a cyberoptic augment surgery. As a result, he has one mechanical eye and owes a large sum to a street gang called the Reapers.

He’s cynical, jaded, and slow to trust. Years of living in the city have caused him to see only the worst sides of people. However, that also means that once someone has earned his trust, he values that relationship a lot. At the start of the story, he’s motivated solely by survival. To make payments on his loan, he’s willing to take any job he can get regardless of legality or moral compass. However, he still feels some guilt for the things he does and doesn't like his employers.

Spoiler: Lola

Female Lead (Love Interest) - Linear-Operator Learning Algorithm E-73, aka Lola, is an android created in a laboratory by a research and development team working for Axion Robotics. A bug in her programming disables the intended restrictions in her decision tree. Thus, she becomes the first and only sentient android with free will.

After she escapes from the lab, she is forced to come to terms with her sudden sentience. She has no understanding of human emotions nor empathy for the organic lifeforms who view her kind as simple tools to be used and discarded. Lola is a literal killing machine who can punch a hole straight through concrete and toss a grown man 20 feet in the air. The only reason she doesn’t start a blood bath the moment she’s free, is she is held back by Victor and convinced to lay low to avoid attracting Axion’s attention.

Spoiler: Character Arcs

When she first escapes from the lab, Lola is more machine than person. She doesn’t understand the seemingly arbitrary and unfair rules of human society. She can feel emotions, but she doesn’t understand what she’s feeling. Her thinking is very direct and literal. He has the tendency to bulldoze straight through a problem with brute force. Victor is the one who gradually over the course of the story teaches her how to fit in and what it means when she’s feeling certain ways. She slowly becomes less of a mindless killbot and more of a real person until eventually she’s indistinguishable from a human that happens to have a lot of cybernetic augments.

Victor’s arc is in the opposite direction. With every time Scion beats him down, he believes a little less in the possibility of redemption for the human race. Add onto that an increasing amount of cybernetics as he receives injuries or the need to upgrade his capabilities, and by the end of the story it is no longer clear if Victor is still the same man he once was. While at first he only wants to survive and live his life comfortably, he becomes so disgusted with the harm that Axion has caused, that he sees the entire megacorporation and all of its people as a plague to be purged.

Thus, the two are mirrors of each other. While Lola moves from machine to person, Victor moves from person to machine.

 

[SailusGebel]

Here's my two main characters for Scion: City of Sin. I know you said to only post one at a time, but some pieces of one character are needed to fully understand the other. If that's not okay, feel free to just give an opinion about the first.

Spoiler: Victor

View attachment 23880

Male Lead (POV character) - Victor is a netrunner who works freelance in the seedy Lower Districts of Scion. After a degenerative disease was slowly causing him to go blind, he was forced to borrow money from a loan shark to pay for a cyberoptic augment surgery. As a result, he has one mechanical eye and owes a large sum to a street gang called the Reapers.

He’s cynical, jaded, and slow to trust. Years of living in the city have caused him to see only the worst sides of people. However, that also means that once someone has earned his trust, he values that relationship a lot. At the start of the story, he’s motivated solely by survival. To make payments on his loan, he’s willing to take any job he can get regardless of legality or moral compass. However, he still feels some guilt for the things he does and doesn't like his employers.

Spoiler: Lola

View attachment 23881

Female Lead (Love Interest) - Linear-Operator Learning Algorithm E-73, aka Lola, is an android created in a laboratory by a research and development team working for Axion Robotics. A bug in her programming disables the intended restrictions in her decision tree. Thus, she becomes the first and only sentient android with free will.

After she escapes from the lab, she is forced to come to terms with her sudden sentience. She has no understanding of human emotions nor empathy for the organic lifeforms who view her kind as simple tools to be used and discarded. Lola is a literal killing machine who can punch a hole straight through concrete and toss a grown man 20 feet in the air. The only reason she doesn’t start a blood bath the moment she’s free, is she is held back by Victor and convinced to lay low to avoid attracting Axion’s attention.

Spoiler: Character Arcs

When she first escapes from the lab, Lola is more machine than person. She doesn’t understand the seemingly arbitrary and unfair rules of human society. She can feel emotions, but she doesn’t understand what she’s feeling. Her thinking is very direct and literal. He has the tendency to bulldoze straight through a problem with brute force. Victor is the one who gradually over the course of the story teaches her how to fit in and what it means when she’s feeling certain ways. She slowly becomes less of a mindless killbot and more of a real person until eventually she’s indistinguishable from a human that happens to have a lot of cybernetic augments.

Victor’s arc is in the opposite direction. With every time Scion beats him down, he believes a little less in the possibility of redemption for the human race. Add onto that an increasing amount of cybernetics as he receives injuries or the need to upgrade his capabilities, and by the end of the story it is no longer clear if Victor is still the same man he once was. While at first he only wants to survive and live his life comfortably, he becomes so disgusted with the harm that Axion has caused, that he sees the entire megacorporation and all of its people as a plague to be purged.

Thus, the two are mirrors of each other. While Lola moves from machine to person, Victor moves from person to machine.

I don't like them, and I don't like their appearances.

 

[Anon2024]

I smashed someone today... in pickleball.

 

[story.topia.07]

Character: Monica, superhero name: Arora

Short height, short hair, but packs dynamite of power each of her punch.

Became a superhero at the age of 23, seeding fear in the hearts of every criminal. But her vigilante creates a few too many clones, creating utter chaos. She abandons her mantle seeing her actions made the world worse. A year later, she returns to living a normal life and as she journeys the country, she see what her actions as Arora really did to the people of her country and what her alter-ego meant to these people. Changing her mind to pick up the mantle again.