I didn't know! Here it is:
Sarah needed to have everything coordinated. Each little thing needed to be in place so she could enjoy a peaceful, organized life. It was all going according to plan until she got a new roommate who turned her manicured life upside down. Lucas is the exact opposite. He enjoys his...
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Would not keep reading.
First prose. The writing itself is good, but your tense use was. . odd You pair present tense with past perfect tense and as far as style goes, I don't think it works. Present tenses evokes a stream of consciousness, happening now, light and snappy tone. Past perfect is the opposite of that. There's no reason to use past perfect over simple past for 95% of the sentences you use.
And writing this out, I feel a bit obtuse to complain about this of all things, but reading it back it really is jarring. Combing in the moment with as removed as possible doesn't feel right. I'm curious why you wrote it this way. Have you read something else that combined these two tenses? If you know something written like this that you thought was good, go ahead and send me a line and tell me what it is because I'd be interested to see.
Outside of the prose, I think you do an ample job building up the MC. It's really all this first chapter is. For what this kind of book is, I think it's professional to that level (small self published).
I think your second problem arises with the overall chapter construction and structure. Like I said, you character work was really good, but it isn't so good that it can completely prop up an entire chapter on it's own. It can be, and probably should be for you, the focus, but something more needs to be built onto the foundation.
So let's talk about that. Half a second before you described Lucas, I said "Okay now we find out about the wacky new roommate that turns her life upside down." I was correct in terms of pacing, good on you there, but I was incorrect in premise. Insomuch, there isn't a premise or hook? A story starts with a departure from the normal. It doesn't have to be in the first chapter but the sooner the better. In your case, the entire chapter revolved around that departure. She's lost her roommate. Everything is going to change.
But. Then. Not really. She has a new respectable roommate.
What's the story about?
I thought it could go one of two ways:
1) She's desperate for a roommate and let's someone in completely different from her who will turn her life upside down.
2) It's a romantic thing. She thought she found a roommate but actually it's the love of her life.
But here's the thing: I had to read the description to find that out. I think it's a problem when someone reading your first chapter in a vacuum can't even tell what genre it is.
Now let's talk about romance and the genre.
Romance is probably one of the most inherently personal things you can write about. It's all about relationships and how people feel. The writing should reflect that.
So how did your MC and your love interest meet. How did they build their relationship? Eh. We get a few statements in the past tense where she describes him and how they met. It's like a laundry list. I hope you are familiar with the term Meet Cute, because this it ain't.
And here's where my critique and advice has limits because I don't know how the rest of the book is set up and structured. Maybe there is a good reason that she knew him before hand. Maybe having a pre existing relationship will play into things. And let's say it is important. Even if they have met before, this is not a strong way to introduce a love interest.
What if instead, you use that history to have Johnathan recommend an A/C repair man. He comes to the apartment. They talk. You establish some time of chemistry, and he mentions apartment hunting. Boom she asks him to move in then and there because she's desperate. We, as the readers, get to see things unfold like a story.
So that's about it. I went as about in depth as I could since you seem to take yourself a little more seriously than a lot of the people on here. HMU if you have any questions.