BackWoodsJ_ACK
Birbs, dog, and burbers
- Joined
- Sep 24, 2020
- Messages
- 165
- Points
- 83
I've gotten a comment a few days ago that's been on my mind. Here it is:
'
"I’m writing this now in case I reach a point where I just stop reading. This story has more than a few grammatical and other issues that need to be fixed by an editor. The most annoying for me is I’m having to imagine every character literally saying “Sigh” because that is exactly how you formatted it. You put “slurp” between two * but can’t even be bothered for sighs.
There are other small details that show you are on the lower end of experience for an author. Your story is not helped when at times it feels you took the worst stylistic choices from translated works. Sometimes you’ll use phrasing’s or words I only see in translated works which makes me wonder about your familiarity with writing for an audience who read normal novels.
Also, I’d highly recommend finding a proof reader as well. An editor would be better but they’re better when you have a more complete story so you can cut out a lot of the chaff that comes from being a free writer rather than an outliner (although even outliners need to cut stuff for a better final product of a story)."
And my question is, what is the stylistic choices? Is it the dialogue? The spacing? Word choice? I'll be honest I'm not writing my story in correct order, like creating paragraphs, indentations etc.
This is a hobby, not a graded work. I do a little over the bare minimum. I workout my brain, let my fantasies run wild, drop a chap, dip, and go bout my day. Also, I'm to cheap to pay for proofreading and editors plus, I don't trust free services for proof reading and what not.
Free doesn't mean good.
I can understand the "sighs" tho. I'll work on it.
Same for audience that reads normal novels. You talking about western books or LN's?
As for phrases, Ngl, my main character sometimes uses slang when he speaks, to me, it's a character trait. Plus, I like having people having to look up the terms.
Homie, if you see this, I know it's constructive criticism but you tore my ass to bits with this, you tryin to fight or sum'in? I can hear Lori Perry's 'Up Against The Wind' in the background as I read this.
Not that I mind but cone on. I know I sound like an ass a little but I don't get this.
'
"I’m writing this now in case I reach a point where I just stop reading. This story has more than a few grammatical and other issues that need to be fixed by an editor. The most annoying for me is I’m having to imagine every character literally saying “Sigh” because that is exactly how you formatted it. You put “slurp” between two * but can’t even be bothered for sighs.
There are other small details that show you are on the lower end of experience for an author. Your story is not helped when at times it feels you took the worst stylistic choices from translated works. Sometimes you’ll use phrasing’s or words I only see in translated works which makes me wonder about your familiarity with writing for an audience who read normal novels.
Also, I’d highly recommend finding a proof reader as well. An editor would be better but they’re better when you have a more complete story so you can cut out a lot of the chaff that comes from being a free writer rather than an outliner (although even outliners need to cut stuff for a better final product of a story)."
And my question is, what is the stylistic choices? Is it the dialogue? The spacing? Word choice? I'll be honest I'm not writing my story in correct order, like creating paragraphs, indentations etc.
This is a hobby, not a graded work. I do a little over the bare minimum. I workout my brain, let my fantasies run wild, drop a chap, dip, and go bout my day. Also, I'm to cheap to pay for proofreading and editors plus, I don't trust free services for proof reading and what not.
Free doesn't mean good.
I can understand the "sighs" tho. I'll work on it.
Same for audience that reads normal novels. You talking about western books or LN's?
As for phrases, Ngl, my main character sometimes uses slang when he speaks, to me, it's a character trait. Plus, I like having people having to look up the terms.
Homie, if you see this, I know it's constructive criticism but you tore my ass to bits with this, you tryin to fight or sum'in? I can hear Lori Perry's 'Up Against The Wind' in the background as I read this.
Not that I mind but cone on. I know I sound like an ass a little but I don't get this.
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