Hi. Great stuff you're doing here.
I know my first chapter sucks since I wrote it when I was a super noob. I just want
more feedback, I guess.
'There is no Good and Evil. Only Power.' At the tender age of ten, Kagami Ken was thrust into a life of excruciating pain, burdened by a unique illness that haunted him relentlessly. Years later, a severe episode renders him comatose for six whole months! Good news, he wakes...
www.scribblehub.com
Aight fine i'll do it.
1. Title
Well, you did put reincarnation isekai fantasy in the title, so its pretty clear i guess. No need to change
2. Cover
Pretty good, what else to say?
3. Blurb
This is Webnovel asian style blurb, which might not work on RoyalRoad. It reeks from afar - this blurb structure can be seen a mile away on MTL and scraper sites in the hundreds. Maybe try a shorter one? Also I don't think you need to say his name four times in the blurb, with twice being the full name.
4. First Chapter
wow, 5k words. I'm a fan of shorter chapters to gain easy views and reads on RoyalRoad, so the word length is already out the question, rip. The Wandering Inn is an anomaly in itself.
I flipped through a few chapters, and it's a crazy slow burn. Big emotional damage, but slow burn. Not going to go well with most readers over at Royal Road, especially seeing that your title has [Reincarnation Isekai Fantasy] in it, but the first few chapters are all pre-reincarnation etc.
It does help the readers feel compassion or empathy for the MC, but otherwise far too long for Royal road readers.
The chapter is written in a quite whimsical way, a bit like rambling of the situation. It gives this 'lifestyle' feel, and I don't really feel the urge to turn the chapter.
Overall
Title okay, cover okay, blurb no no, first chapter good but not really right fit.
See, I'm not saying 5k word chapters don't work on RoyalRoad. They do. It's just that the way the chapter is written, it's a bit lacking in pulling tension. There's no hint of the Isekai or gods or anything happening to him.
Either way you're already a legend so u didn't need this feedback.
Would love some feedback please
In 'Echoes of Aetheria,' Lila, a woman with a blurry past, wakes up in the mysterious realm of Aetheria with zero memory of how she got there. Led by a voice in her head, she embarks on a risky journey to uncover the secrets of her lost memories and...
www.scribblehub.com
Hey there.
1.Title
Cool, but pretty meh. I don't see anything new, doesn't tell me much. For all I know, it could be a sci fi book. Like 'Echoes of Betelgeuse'
2. Cover
Cool, really like it, might not work on Scribblehub but I've seen similar ones with great success.
3. Blurb
Ok what is this for real? This has got to be hands down the most generic blurb I've seen. I don't see anything new nor twisting about the novel, it feels like you're just shoehorning the setting of the story to create your own world with no care if there is anything attractive about it.
Maybe you did a whole lot of world building behind the scene, but vague words and plain phrases ain't gonna attract anybody's attention. Your first blurb paragraph is the most important, yet it doesn't even hook.
If I walked into my local library, your book would probably be lost in a million others. Even if you wanted to follow how traditional published books do their blurbs, they usually start with a key phrases first.
4. First chapter.
Okay it feels like the entire start is cookie cutter. Wakes up in unknown place with voice in head as guide, sounds pretty simple.
Sure there's the underlying mystery that YOU as the author might know. You probably know what the twists are, what the system is, what the true setting of the world is.
But because of the generic start, there doesn't seem to be anything pushing for tension nor mystery. The addition of the voice is mysterious, sure, but would readers even bother to find out?
Maybe fans of horror might, but that's not a lot on RoyalRoad.
Overall title,
Title meh, cover good, blurb horrible, first chapter generic
Consider to yourself what is the selling point of the book. Based of 'Manga in Theory and Practice' (go find the PDF), stories attract readers in the following categories in descending priority
1. Character
2. Story
3. Setting
Your blurb doesn't hook in any of these categories. Neither does your first chapter.
Now, if you were writing for fun, sure, it's okay. I have seen worse starts. But this feedback thread is for selling or marketing your novel.
Perhaps this might blow up as traditional published book. But as it is right now, I find it hard to believe this book would hit rising stars top 7 on royalroad in it's current form.