Feelings about school

[K5Rakitan]

I'm chatting a lot with my aunt lately about my plans to homeschool my son for preschool and let him choose how often he wants to go to school through an independent study program. She started going off about structure, structure, structure. My concern is with too much structure preventing kids from learning how to make their own structure. It seems like a fine line to walk, and I feel like many teachers err on the side of too much structure, which is what makes kids resent learning.

What are your thoughts about school, particularly when it comes to the concept of structure?

 

[SailusGebel]

No.

 

[Lorelliad]

I'm somewhat in the middle. Sure, I hate the very idea of school and learning, but that wretched place is also where I met my friends and had great memories.

 

[K5Rakitan]

Also, can someone give me a refresher on the demographics here on Smuthub? I know someone did an age poll a while ago, so I don't want to repeat that, just locate it.

 

[Zirrboy]

If you have an idea how to let your child be part of a group of peers and are reasonably confident that you can provide education on the level of a trained teacher, I don't see much reason against homeschooling.

But note that the more you try to be for your child the harder they are going to struggle against it growing up.

 

[Okay]

I think I might prefer going to school somewhat, because school is what gives my daily schedule structure. It's boring and annoying, but if I didn't go, I would just laze around inside all day.

 

[Paul_Tromba]

I went to public school for a few years and hated it. My grades were always fairly high but I was ostracized by most of the kids my age for reasons I still don't know. My mother pulled me and my brother out of school and homeschooled us as we travelled around in an RV. It helped that my mother was an ex-teacher but she was rather strict about us keeping up with our studies. I loved being homeschooled a lot more than going to public school and felt that I got a much better education, childhood, and relationship with my family from it. That said, there are some people who I would say should never homeschool their kids. Mostly people who lack the ability to hold themselves and their children to a healthy standard of education and/or cult families.

Homeschooling isn't for everyone as some children learn better in a school environment while others are better off learning at their own pace. There are also family circumstances as many families don't have the ability to put effort into homeschooling due to how busy they are.

I agree with your statement of structure as I find that schools are too structured to allow children creative freedom but there does need to be some structural basis for learning as no structure leads to chaos. Homeschooling, under the right conditions can allow for a lot of creative freedom and self-learning through a natural desire. Too much structure will take away that desire, but no structure will not encourage the child to learn more.

 

[K5Rakitan]

I went to public school for a few years and hated it. My grades were always fairly high but I was ostracized by most of the kids my age for reasons I still don't know. My mother pulled me and my brother out of school and homeschooled us as we travelled around in an RV. It helped that my mother was an ex-teacher but she was rather strict about us keeping up with our studies. I loved being homeschooled a lot more than going to public school and felt that I got a much better education, childhood, and relationship with my family from it. That said, there are some people who I would say should never homeschool their kids. Mostly people who lack the ability to hold themselves and their children to a healthy standard of education and/or cult families.

Homeschooling isn't for everyone as some children learn better in a school environment while others are better off learning at their own pace. There are also family circumstances as many families don't have the ability to put effort into homeschooling due to how busy they are.

I agree with your statement of structure as I find that schools are too structured to allow children creative freedom but there does need to be some structural basis for learning as no structure leads to chaos. Homeschooling, under the right conditions can allow for a lot of creative freedom and self-learning through a natural desire. Too much structure will take away that desire, but no structure will not encourage the child to learn more.

That makes a lot of sense. I have a variety of experience with teaching, both paid and unpaid, so I'm confident that I can homeschool my son if needed. I really hope he likes school so I can go back to my own career and hobbies, but he's more important to me than those things, and I think giving him the choice will ultimately help him enjoy learning.

I was religious many years ago, but that is no longer the case. Part of my teaching experience includes volunteering to teach religious education when I was 17-18. Since they were short on volunteers, I taught a combined course with both kindergarten and first grade. When I started, I had to work with a friend who kept acting silly to entertain the kids, preventing me from progressing with my lesson plan. It was a huge relief when the coordinators let me work on my own.

 

[SternenklarenRitter]

I am an oddball since I learn best within the rigid structure of institutionalized education. Attempts to make schools more holistic (like working in groups or classroom games) used to reliably precipitate my tantrums (honestly I'm starting to feel like I was discriminated for; the number of times I got sent to the principal's office and came out without any punishment is kind of astonishing). As a grownup college student, I simply struggle to complete and typically get at most 50% on the 'easy' application based assignments that are sometimes given out to rescue everyone else's grades from that physics exam with 30 math intensive problems.

 

[Silbern]

I’ve always been a firm believer that school can be structured in a way that will better prepare you for the future.

I’m just glad my education came to me in a way that I could still be a kid and get the full experience. One of my friends had a harder time just getting to school.

I’ve learned, looking back, that the one-size-fits-all approach to education doesn’t work for everyone, nor is it suited to everyone’s individual talents.

If we had the opportunity to make education more personal for more students, that would be great.

 

[RaidenReader]

Uhm. I'm still pretty young, so I can't empathize with the parent's side of things, but here goes...

For me, school isn't just a place to learn acedemia and whatnot. It's also a place to learn how to socialize. To interact with society.

If you raise your kid homeschooled for most of his life, then when he's an adult, he'll be thrown into society without a whole lot of prior experience.

And school can provide that experience by creating a miniature society that is relatively kind to mistakes.
After all, right now that I'm an adult, a single mistake could put me out on the streets.
But in school? What. Bad grades? Detention? Calling your parents? OOoooOOoo~ scary~.

Within that miniature society they can learn how to interact with others, adhere to a certain set of rules, learn which rules can be broken, learn unspoken rules... stuff like that?

Oh my god, I'm such a mess. I forgot where I was going with this. Can you understand what I just wrote? I'm so sorry.
This is why I don't write stories and just stick to reading~
Giving structure to my thoughts is so hard~

 

[Varstark]

School was OK when I was just dicking around with my friends. Lessons depended severely on the teacher. A good teacher can make a shit subject bearable. I'd say any school that extends past 03:30 PM is making itself unwelcome, though. Kids need to be able to go out, risk it and find their own order. Also depends on how much you, the parent, are available as well.

I think it was up until the age of twelve or something (can't remember) that kids' brains basically give off brainwaves that are literally the same as someone being hypnotised or brainwashed. Pretty fascinating stuff.

I'd go off on a limb and say it's pretty important for boys to experience an all-male environment (literally almost extinct on a macro level) where they've got male authority figures and get some physical expertise in. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Pretty sure seven to nine out of ten-ish teachers are women now, so makes school a lot more useless for half the kids there.

 

[gaylolis]

I guess it's okay the first time around since I was immature and didn't know much about the world, but I sure as hell don't want to go back there again if I had a next life with my memories intact.

I want to learn what I want, at my own pace. I just really hate having to keep up with others.

I don't want to deal with people, especially assholes.

And school is too fucking loud for my tastes, I prefer somewhere quiet and scenic, just like home.

Many more things I find to my distaste, but yeah, that's it for now.

 

[Cipiteca396]

I hated school.

I was shy, so I never made many friends, and the ones I did make lost contact whenever there was a changeover in schools. It made me even worse at socializing, since the idea of making new friends was not only anxiety inducing, but now also pointless. The one thing everyone says school is good for, lol.

I love learning new things. Reading through the text books from school was one of the best parts. Even now, I still get caught up for hours reading about writing conventions on TVTropes or looking through wikipedia entries on obscure topics.
However, there was a constant and steady supply of 'homework', which took all the fun out of learning for me. It literally turned something I enjoyed into work. Eventually I got burnt out and just stopped doing any work at all. The teachers scolded me and I felt even more horrible about it, but I didn't start doing the work. I just did the bare minimum to get a passing grade(after I failed a semester of English and realized I was going to drop out if I didn't).

My case is fairly special, as far as I can tell. Most kids are fine in that kind of environment. And honestly, I think your kids in particular might benefit from it. But I'll never look back on those memories fondly... And those memories are essentially the entire first two decades of my life. A significant portion of who I've been is dead space. That knowledge is a lead weight that drags me down even now.

 

[tiaf]

Preschool as in kindergarten? Idk how those work in other countries. But they should emphasize socializing with other kids and learning by playing/doing.

Imo, if you can teach your child the necessary knowledge to match their peers as well as self-discipline to get their stuff done, then school is superfluous.

I went to an elementary school that wasn’t all about structure, but more about letting the children decide for themselves which task to do first and working independently and in a team. And I am glad I went to this school, because the “horror stories” my friend told me in secondary school are impossible for me to imagine. (Classic school model of teacher says, students do)

I also had many projects with educational institutions or field trips in my elementary school compared to other schools. They do keep the children in touch with the outside world.

The worst school can produce are “geniuses” who only know how to study but know nothing about life. In that sense I think your approach for your child is very reasonable, but it depends on his personality. Some need a lead and can’t do well without structure while others will suffocate in that environment.

 

[K5Rakitan]

Uhm. I'm still pretty young, so I can't empathize with the parent's side of things, but here goes...

For me, school isn't just a place to learn acedemia and whatnot. It's also a place to learn how to socialize. To interact with society.

If you raise your kid homeschooled for most of his life, then when he's an adult, he'll be thrown into society without a whole lot of prior experience.

And school can provide that experience by creating a miniature society that is relatively kind to mistakes.
After all, right now that I'm an adult, a single mistake could put me out on the streets.
But in school? What. Bad grades? Detention? Calling your parents? OOoooOOoo~ scary~.

Within that miniature society they can learn how to interact with others, adhere to a certain set of rules, learn which rules can be broken, learn unspoken rules... stuff like that?

Oh my god, I'm such a mess. I forgot where I was going with this. Can you understand what I just wrote? I'm so sorry.
This is why I don't write stories and just stick to reading~
Giving structure to my thoughts is so hard~

I get it. My aunt has expressed a lot of concern over my son's lack of social experiences with kids his own age since we've been keeping him pretty isolated with the pandemic. We'll be looking for neighborhood friends he can play with as soon as he's fully vaccinated and getting him into lots of extracurricular activities to socialize when he's old enough for those things.

 

[SailusGebel]

getting him into lots of extracurricular activities

 

[K5Rakitan]

Preschool as in kindergarten? Idk how those work in other countries. But they should emphasize socializing with other kids and learning by playing/doing.

Imo, if you can teach your child the necessary knowledge to match their peers as well as self-discipline to get their stuff done, then school is superfluous.

I went to an elementary school that wasn’t all about structure, but more about letting the children decide for themselves which task to do first and working independently and in a team. And I am glad I went to this school, because the “horror stories” my friend told me in secondary school are impossible for me to imagine. (Classic school model of teacher says, students do)

I also had many projects with educational institutions or field trips in my elementary school compared to other schools. They do keep the children in touch with the outside world.

The worst school can produce are “geniuses” who only know how to study but know nothing about life. In that sense I think your approach for your child is very reasonable, but it depends on his personality. Some need a lead and can’t do well without structure while others will suffocate in that environment.

Indeed, part of my inspiration comes from a Youtube video I watched about how they do things differently in another country.
One way or another, I will proceed carefully.

 

[pelpelen]

consult your child. I've been kept from going outside the house and playing with the neighbourhood's kids my entire life and i truned out like this.

I've been ostracized in school for many years because of...? And that cobined with my lack of friends caused me to just grow antisocial.
But i was still happy in school because i loved learning. I was a curious kid and i loved watching learning videos and learning things early. I learned the whole alphabet before we even got into it and was able to speak english at 5th grade.
So of course i was regarded as a genius by my teachers and parnets and what did that lead to? The fear of failing.
And that fear always kept me going until 8th grade. At that time my love for learning stopped and i stopped being successful at school.
So my lack of friends led to me loving learning aspect of school more and more and when that love stopped i just became a antisocial unsucessful kid.
I've been sleeping at 18:00 and waking up at 2:00 just to quietly rest.
And by doing that i get sleepy at school so i just sleep in classes and breaks.
The road between my home and school is an hour long so i waste another two hours just to walk back and forth added onto my normal 7:15 hours of school. And that's excluding... Was it clubs or something i really forgot because we didn't have them due to continuing covid cases last year.
I had two months of absences last year alone.

So school is a dreadful place for me. But that's al because it stopped being 'fun'. If i was in your position i would do what i planned to and not overstress my kid.
Let him go to school and make friends and attend some classes for a time see if it works out and he can build a friendship with other kids.
If that doesn't work out just teach him yourself but make sure that he still has friend etiher around the neighbourhood aor from some soccer club he goes.
So please make surre that he has a lot of friends and do what you want otherwise

I just realized this is heavily cringy...

 

[InceTagn]

I think that going to school is a good thing, you meet people of your age, and you have a good environment to make friends and ennemies...

You learn to adapt to bullying and so on.

In fact, if you are confidant that a school is structured in the best way for your child development, send him here, and if it is not good, you can still remove him.

But while the teaching system in school is 'structuralized' it is often seen that there is a lot of disorder in between.

Personally, I experienced power abuse, physical violence both by teachers and classmate, I also inflicted physical and verbal abuse to my classement. So my advices are not the best as I am the product of q failed system .