What is with parents abusing children in stories to make them better?

[Kenjona]

Why do so many Isekai stories have child abuse disguised as "training"? It is not how real effective training of anyone child or not works. Some training programs use high stress training to weed out people during the training period. But it is not part of skills training. It is used to test their resolve and ability to work under stress.
Forcefully making kids skip meals when they fail. Is another abuse example. That hurts their growth more than just getting beat up and stabbed.

 

[ArcadiaBlade]

 

[Cipiteca396]

It's probably an artifact from real life. The above Asian example is slightly more cliché, but pretty much all parents use abuse to control and direct their kids to become 'better'. If you want to change it, you'll have to do something about it in real life first. Or make a dedicated guidebook that you can give to the authors.

 

[NotaNuffian]

Cuz that's how shit works in Asia.
棒下出孝子，严师出高徒。
Spare the rod and spoil the child, a strict teacher forges a competant student.
Fun fact, I know of the second phrase since young, but only recently heard the first part.
As a child, getting beatings becomes the rite of path. After all, that is how you tame unruly animals.

Alas, the training method should also includes a carrot and not just use stick all the time. Rewards and punishment should be given appropriately and it helps gaslight educate the child to be a useful member of society.

Ps. As for not giving them a meal/ locking them up in a dirty room etc etc... those are alternatives than just rotan. After all, parents are human and they do get tired...

Pps. Tried to attempt a dark humor, it failed.

 

[Kenjona]

Yeah but seeing "good" parents doing it in stories just irks me.

 

[Temple]

It's a shorthand way for the main character to quickly become strong so that they could do badass stuff in the story without questions. If they grew up in a "normal" let's say noble way of training, education, etc., for one that'll be boring as hell, and two, they won't have a reason to suddenly became badass for OP moments in the plot. Don't think of it in terms of realism, don't think of it in terms of good writing, think of it in terms of the goal of webnovels wish is power fantasy.

Think of all the MCs who have harsh trainings in their childhood. There's just so many of them. And what do we get from them? Badassery and showing off how powerful they are compared to normal children.

 

[greyblob]

because most isekai authors have never been parents/lack functioning familial dynamics to use as references/plot convenience

 

[aattss]

The reason parents are "good" for forcing their kids to work hard is because a. kids aren't that good at long term planning due to brain chemistry and a lack of experience, which is why it can be the responsibility of parents to make those sorts of decisions for their kids, and b. the only thing that matters to the plot and power fantasy in most fantasy WNs is combat, and training montages make you better at combat, so anyone who believes that there are sources of happiness or self-actualization that don't involve maximizing your combat ability at the cost of all else is a dummy.

Personally, I feel like having a character work hard because someone is forcing them to sort of defeats the whole point of having them work hard. Like, that hard work doesn't come from the character's willpower or agency or desire to grow stronger. Imo it would probably be more productive to encourage intrinsic motivation over extrinsic motivation i.e. you should work this hard because it'll help you reach your goals and I believe in you instead of work this hard because I told you so and literally won't let you do otherwise. And when it's a teacher-student thing instead of a parent-child thing, if someone decides they don't want to work hard, that's their choice and how they choose to live, and they're the ones who'll have to live with the outcome of their choices.

 

[CarburetorThompson]

because most isekai authors have never been parents/lack functioning familial dynamics to use as references/plot convenience

Should tell them Growing Pains is on Prime Video

 

[Deleted member 57675]

Part slightly to semi relatable. But then take something from reality and exaggerate it to a 100x shit ton for whatever genre trope it is.

Part easier to write. Makes it easier to show a Hey-they-weren't-just-OP-and-had-power-handed-to-them, but-they-worked-hard-to-get-where-they-are-now-too. And instant character development excuse an author may use to justify a character that acts shitty or bratty...like hey, its not their fault or hey, they may be weak or finally getting strong all because of this one to few scenes...

People go tough on their kids thinking bc that was the way how they were trained by their parents and they have gone through it, so ofc, they think that naturally their kids can be able to go through the same shit and come out the same way like them. Some parents who are not so open minded and strive for traditional tough method because thats the way its always is and has always been done...some of them take it to the extreme or go too far and instead of understanding how to moderate between just enough discipline and encourage support, force their children through this method and their kids eventually crack underneath or they hide it away until the pressure make them burst.

Idk i dont read much isekai stories. But, have read a story or two.

 

[Ai-chan]

The reason why Ai-chan, a sociopath manages to live life as a normal person was because Ai-chan's parents and teachers never spared the rod. Whenever Ai-chan did anything wrong, it's punishment time. Over time, you learn to associate doing something wrong with being punished and even when there is nobody around to punish you, you remember the punishment and decides against doing it, not because you know you will be punished, but because you have been taught that breaking the rules is wrong, in no uncertain way.

In white people's eyes, that's child abuse. In asian eyes, white people mollycuddle your children too much that they become spoiled and think they can do anything they want with no repercussion. The problem with people these days is that they consider punishment is equal to abuse.

 

[NotaNuffian]

The reason why Ai-chan, a sociopath manages to live life as a normal person was because Ai-chan's parents and teachers never spared the rod. Whenever Ai-chan did anything wrong, it's punishment time. Over time, you learn to associate doing something wrong with being punished and even when there is nobody around to punish you, you remember the punishment and decides against doing it, not because you know you will be punished, but because you have been taught that breaking the rules is wrong, in no uncertain way.

In white people's eyes, that's child abuse. In asian eyes, white people mollycuddle your children too much that they become spoiled and think they can do anything they want with no repercussion. The problem with people these days is that they consider punishment is equal to abuse.

Kind of why you need a balance in life, I guess?

But since everyone is so gungho to only stick to a plan, so either super strict or super lax.

Gentle but firm and firm but gentle are the keys, which I can tell you, doesn't really happen IRL because parents are people and most people have no patience.

Maybe there should be a course in raising a child...

 

[greyblob]

Should tell them Growing Pains is on Prime Video

no clue what that is

 

[Deleted member 57675]

The reason why Ai-chan, a sociopath manages to live life as a normal person was because Ai-chan's parents and teachers never spared the rod. Whenever Ai-chan did anything wrong, it's punishment time. Over time, you learn to associate doing something wrong with being punished and even when there is nobody around to punish you, you remember the punishment and decides against doing it, not because you know you will be punished, but because you have been taught that breaking the rules is wrong, in no uncertain way.

In white people's eyes, that's child abuse. In asian eyes, white people mollycuddle your children too much that they become spoiled and think they can do anything they want with no repercussion. The problem with people these days is that they consider punishment is equal to abuse.

Similar. I think its all depends how the parents discipline. See kids nowadays throwing tantrum or entitlement on youtube. If it was an asian household...idk how they gonna keep having that tantrum lol. People don't have things clearly defined amd then put a label on anything they remotely think it is, even when its not. A simple tap of a ruler on hand or spank can be called child abuse nowadays... then what about actual child abuse?

 

[aattss]

I think this thread is going on a tangent.

 

[K5Rakitan]

Indeed, failure is enough of a motivator to take a break and try again another day.

 

[Kenjona]

Oh and by children being abused I am specifically talking about 1-7 Year old learning to fight and kill. One story a 1 year old must run from his grandfather to get into a house every day, or lose his privilege to eat lunch, getting stabbed as part of the "training".

 

[greyblob]

Oh and by children being abused I am specifically talking about 1-7 Year old learning to fight and kill. One story a 1 year old must run from his grandfather to get into a house every day, or lose his privilege to eat lunch, getting stabbed as part of the "training".

damn that hit too close to home

 

[Kenjona]

damn that hit too close to home

Yeah, My main issue when the child in question should not be able to cope physically in anyway, older than 5 maybe, but under? Not if its a human child, no matter how OP.

Had to re edit as it was two sentences inside one and I had not removed the second one to make what I said clearer.

 

[CarburetorThompson]

no clue what that is

Family sitcom from 1980s/1990s. Unless you mean Prime Video which is a video streaming service.