I sat in court, waiting for my turn to speak with the judge as part of the sentencing process. In the past months, the DA wasn't really helpful on letting me know what was going on with court cases of my brother's murder. Since the accused was minors, I wasn't given any details.
When I tried to make an appointment with, well, anyone that's involved with the case - I was told they were busy. If it wasn't for a sympathetic clerk at the court entrance, I wouldn't have known I could make a victim impact statement at the point of the sentencing - she even let me know when and where to show up.
The DA scowled when I did show up but he didn't say anything, the court was already in session - I walked up to the bailiff, whispered if I can ask the judge to do allow me to say my victim statement. He looked surprised, but he nodded.
The judge noticed the whispers, he held his hand up, "Mr Bailiff, is there a problem?" - the bailiff told him my request. He too then looked surprised, he looked at the DA, "There's a request for an victim impact to this case and you didn't mention this."
The DA groaned, "Yes but I don't think it's appropriate since he's a minor and they weren't charged with any crimes that has impacted him."
The judge looked confused, "I'll hear the statement and see if it's applicable to the sentencing."
The bailiff led me to the stand and I took out my paper, I made effort to make sure everything that the accused did to impact me as factual as possible. I wanted to ensure my brother's murderers know what they did.
"Every morning when I wake up and get ready for the day, I get the painful reminder at breakfast that my brother is no longer there, his conversations, his guidance and his help to the expenses wasn't there. He was permanently removed from me and everyone he knows. The accused did that - and I worry tha"
"Hold on, your brother died? Did I hear right?" the judge looked at the DA, "what's this? The accused was found guilty of burglary, wanton damage and reckless evasion of arrest - there's no mention of any deaths here."
The DA looked down and shifted his papers around, pretending he was looking for details.
"Uh yeah, you see, The investigation felt it wasn't conclusive if it was a murder or a suicide and the fingerprints was on the gun."
My jaws dropped, I felt rage burning inside and watched myself yell out, "Utter Bullshit! He's left-handed and the wound was on the right side of the head! I told the officers this when I was interviewed!"
The Judge looked at me, "I understand your position now. It seems there's..." he then looked at the DA, "a very serious issue that needs to be addressed here...."
He sighed, "I understand you're new at the job but you don't cut corners in my court - I hear about anything like this in the future, I'll be sending official reprimands to the bar."
---
That was ten years ago - I still think about my brother every morning, and his presence I miss. The DA is running for Governor and my brother's murderers are due for release next month.
I wonder what I could've done differently, what I can do now and who else is in the same position as I.
