Procrastination is a funny thing. You don't do things because you don't want to do them. However, you know you need to do them. You know that there are consequences to not doing them but you still don't do them.
Stand up. Kneecap cracks in three places. AAAAAAAAAAAAA! Realize there is no pain. Go to sit back down. Back cracks. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Feel the pain of a thousand moons exploding in my neck. Why is my body so old when I'm supposed to be in my prime?
I had a dream last night that some chick ran up to me and shrieked "Give me your dick!" After that, I was sitting on a couch in front of two kids. I look at them and proudly say "And that's the story of how I met your mother."
It's 6:30 am and I'm cooking pancakes for 80+ people. When my half-asleep brain remembers a vine. I say this out loud with the tones and everything to these pancakes before slapping them with the spatula. After doing so I turn around to see my very tired boss standing there sipping coffee. I freeze. He doesn't bat an eye and walks out of the kitchen.
Today I learned that the U.S. government classified pizza as a vegetable in 2008 in order to serve it with public school lunches as a substitute for proper vegetables.
I am not allowed to laugh in public anymore because my laugh is that of an asthmatic gremlin or a slowly built up villain laugh. There is no in-between.
Found an easy way to make names. If you have different cultures then decide whether you want the culture in question to have similar or different styles of names. Once you've done that you can press random buttons on the keyboard. Add or take away vowels and consonants till it looks nice to read and say. For cultures with similar names just base it on the first name you made for this culture.