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[gaylolis]

maybe it's not that kindness is overrated, but the idea that you should be kind to others in general. i do remember whether school or religious organizations advocating such universal kindness, the thing as giving your right cheek when people slap your left cheek and so forth.

but the thing that works for many is more on the lines of being kind to the right people and cutting off ones that may not appreciate your kindness or even try taking advantage of you.

as for who is the right people, is probably more on the lines that you genuinely wanted to so something good to them. even if you may not be rewarded for it.

in the end, i see it more as a process of connecting to the right people in our lives, and the act of kindness is one of the process. personally, whether i witness some acts of genuine kindness, there's something that heals my soul and i wanted to root for them so they can keep helping the right ones while straying far from those who has ill will.

in the end, i understand that life sucks, but it's not like i'm going to stay here forever. i prefer to just enjoy the ride since i hate feeling like shit all the time from things beyond my control.

 

[Daitengu]

I got two trains of thought on kindness.

1. Don't hang around assholes expecting to be rewarded for your kindness. That's like being on twitter and being surprised some idiots are mad that Mr. Beast bought his staff houses or got 100 people glaucoma surgery.

2. Expecting a reciprocation for being kind makes you a "nice guy" no one likes nice guys, cause they aren't really nice. They're business men who use nice and kind as currency. They also often get pissed when that isn't paid back in kind. Guess what, you aren't owed a damn thing for being nice, cause it should be standard practice. "Nice guys" somehow expect to get the girl or a raise, or whatever, and get pissed when they don't.

 

[FaustVoncleave]

idk. for some reason, being kind actually makes you more disrespected. people are so weird that they prefer assholes over nice people most of the time, like how bad boys finish first and nice guys finish last.

the older i get, the more i realize that kindness is overrated

there's this one particular experience i had, and it made me realize that being a "bad person" is better than being a "good person." take note that those two terms have quotation marks, which means that a "bad person" isn't necessarily literally a bad person. it's just that the "bad person" is, for some strange reason, more liked than the "good person"

arguably, there's a difference between niceness and kindness, but i guess the only way to win is to be kind but look like an asshole

its like you look like a bad boy, but you're actually kind, and that's the only way to win.

and that's why i decided to give up on being kind

being a slight asshole actually earns you more respect

being kind just makes you abused by other people

no more mister nice or kind guy, i guess

of course, this doesnt mean that i'm suddenly going to turn from a nice guy to a bad guy. it's just that...i'll stop thinking that being nice or kind can make you successful

yeah, being kind in this unkind world is fucked

Yeah, being nice and kind absolutely won't make you successful. There's a saying about kindness that being kind to others is being cruel to yourself and those who support you and it's absolutely true. Being kind is an irrational choice that doesn't help you... but it's not dumb. It's disrespected because people see it as weakness or idiocy, but it isn't. It's the harder path, the path everyone would take if the world was a better place. If we wanted to make the world a better place. It's not kindness that's wrong, it's the world, the culture. Not saying everyone should be kind, but just that everyone should respect those that are, because those who are willing to inconvenience themselves just to make someone elses day better deserve it. After all, it's something most of us can't do.

 

[Rhaps]

Thinking about it, I have been kinder than I would've liked. I helped people out if I'm requested since I don't mind helping people, plus any small chores isn't a problem with me. My look is pretty stoic (according to my friends), dressed like a funky person, my personality is an unhinged sociopath, but my actions are pretty nice.

Kindness isn't about acting nice, it's about the capacity to be nice. Having a bad personality and look like a guy that's willing to do a dirty deed done dirty cheap doesn't really matter as long you can help out when asked.

 

[BearlyAlive]

Fun take: Being assholes is ingrained into our genetics. Think about it, most of the time humans needed to group together to face threads, be it intern or extern. And the only ones that could allow themselves to act like assholes were those with power to back their attitude.

Add in a few sprinkles of psychology to the study and the bottom line would most likely be: "Asshole behaviour = STRONK" so whenever someone feels endangered by something or someone chances are the 'weaker' they feel they are, the more shitty they will act.

So my pet theory is the more like an asshole someone acts, the weaker a person they are. There are reasons for Virtues being a thing to strive for, after all.


I'm not counting Incels and Simps in my theories, tho. Those are both mental illnesses and those suffering from it should seek help.

 

[Yairy]

Hm...

I say be yourself. As cliché as it sounds, people can feel when you're not being genuine.

Good luck on your evil arc.

 

[TotallyHuman]

people can feel when you're not being genuine.

can you elaborate, give examples? I myself have trouble with that it seems. Very curious how it feels

 

[greyblob]

idk. for some reason, being kind actually makes you more disrespected. people are so weird that they prefer assholes over nice people most of the time, like how bad boys finish first and nice guys finish last.

the older i get, the more i realize that kindness is overrated

there's this one particular experience i had, and it made me realize that being a "bad person" is better than being a "good person." take note that those two terms have quotation marks, which means that a "bad person" isn't necessarily literally a bad person. it's just that the "bad person" is, for some strange reason, more liked than the "good person"

arguably, there's a difference between niceness and kindness, but i guess the only way to win is to be kind but look like an asshole

its like you look like a bad boy, but you're actually kind, and that's the only way to win.

and that's why i decided to give up on being kind

being a slight asshole actually earns you more respect

being kind just makes you abused by other people

no more mister nice or kind guy, i guess

of course, this doesnt mean that i'm suddenly going to turn from a nice guy to a bad guy. it's just that...i'll stop thinking that being nice or kind can make you successful

yeah, being kind in this unkind world is fucked

thought this was bait at first because of how pathetic it reads. this is the shit you write and cringe at a month later. grow up a a bit and maybe go outside. people don't function like that. not everything is highscool drama

To me this just comes off as "incel" talk.

it is

and writing off the problem as incel talk will make the problem worse. though what could one expect from a whore

the mentally ill shouldn't have access to the internet

 

[SailusGebel]

the mentally ill shouldn't have access to the internet

BASED BLOBBY.

 

[greyblob]

BASED BLOBBY.

oh i just realized his name is 'sanitylimited'. god this is turning into tumbler with all these edgy hormonal teenagers

 

[Yairy]

can you elaborate, give examples? I myself have trouble with that it seems. Very curious how it feels

Being overly nice comes off as bad too. Playing the part or role you believe people want you to be isn't great. Forcing yourself into the mold you think people want comes off as glaringly obvious.

I think the greatest people are those who just like being themselves. It's a lot more special to show people your real side then a nice guy/ bad boy persona.

Long story short, chat with more people offline and you'll come to realize that meeting people, making friends, and special connections is much easier than you think as long as you're true to yourself.

People respect that and like that. The hardest part is showing the world your true self. Get passed that and you'll be a happier person.

 

[DubstheDuke]

Well, at the end of the day, we live in a world where doing the right thing will never be rewarded. Of course there is incentive to be selfish, otherwise why would people choose it?

There is no merit to doing the right thing if its simply to be rewarded.

But I suppose your discussion is more pertaining to attitude as opposed to actions.

In this regard, Ive seen far too many people who put on a fake smile and say nice things. Just an example below.

I work as an engineer and answer the phone all the time. Every once in a while, someone will call and ask for my boss. Now, my boss will always ask me who is calling and why and he will get pretty pissed if I dont know, so I always have to find out who it is before I transfer the call.

Now, there are occasionally people who call and ask for my boss and my boss will not want to talk to them, so he tells me to just say he isnt in or that hes busy or whatever. So usually I do the first time. But sometimes they keep calling and calling. "Is he in yet?" "I need to talk to him." Even if I tell my boss that theyve been calling over and over, he will just say the same thing - he doesnt want to talk to them.

Heres what has happened most of the time. They happened to get ahold of him one way or another, tried to sell him something, and being the pushover he is, he acts all nice like he is interested and then just dips and leaves the guy calling over and over. Then after a while of calling and calling and never getting into contact with my boss, these salespeople get pissed at me as if Im the one barring them from talking to an interested customer.

At some point I always just have to tell the guy. "Hey. Stop calling. I talked to my boss and he isnt interested."

And every time this happens, all of a sudden, the calls stop.

Magic, right?

Wrong. Ive learned from this that being an asshole but straight up is far better than leading people on. When these people call I know now that I need to just tell them the truth from the start so they arent stuck calling and calling and calling.

Yes, I seem like an absolute asshole. But between me and my boss, who is really in the wrong?

The one who pretends like he is interested and doesnt have the balls to say he isnt.

 

[Jemini]

While I can get pretty deep into this subject to disabuse people here of this nihilism, it would be far too esoteric an explanation requiring quite a bit of background, and when it comes right down to it I can pretty easily sum up the core root of the misunderstanding here.

It's not that nice people get abused by the system, it's that weak people get abused by the system. You need strength before you can be nice effectively. And, once you get that strength, people will fear it unless you know how to show kindness too.

You've gotta balance the strength and kindness though, being constantly aware of your social image, as you don't let people walk all over you and take advantage of you but you also don't come off as an ass-hole that earns everyone's disfavor.

 

[T.K._Paradox]

There is a difference between kindness and goodness, a kind person laments everyone's problems whilst doing nothing about it.

The good person is selfless and just in those problems and doesn't have a hard time calling others out on their bullshit.

Nobody is asking you to be a saint, just follow your good instinct and try to be helpful once and awhile.

 

[SailusGebel]

While I can get pretty deep into this subject to disabuse people here of this nihilism,

 

[Aaqil]

can you elaborate, give examples? I myself have trouble with that it seems. Very curious how it feels

The more time you spend in polite occasions the easier it gets to tell,

Wrong. Ive learned from this that being an asshole but straight up is far better than leading people on. When these people call I know now that I need to just tell them the truth from the start so they arent stuck calling and calling and calling.

Yes, I seem like an absolute asshole. But between me and my boss, who is really in the wrong?

You do?
That response isn't rude in anyway tho,

There is a difference between kindness and goodness, a kind person laments everyone's problems whilst doing nothing about it.

The good person is selfless and just in those problems and doesn't have a hard time calling others out on their bullshit.

Nobody is asking you to be a saint, just follow your good instinct and try to be helpful once and awhile.

I thought it was "nice" and "kind", not "good" and "kind",
"Good" doesn't fit in to this topic for me,

 

[TotallyHuman]

Being overly nice comes off as bad too. Playing the part or role you believe people want you to be isn't great. Forcing yourself into the mold you think people want comes off as glaringly obvious.

I think the greatest people are those who just like being themselves. It's a lot more special to show people your real side then a nice guy/ bad boy persona.

Long story short, chat with more people offline and you'll come to realize that meeting people, making friends, and special connections is much easier than you think as long as you're true to yourself.

People respect that and like that. The hardest part is showing the world your true self. Get passed that and you'll be a happier person.

I interact a lot with people offline, thank you. I still don't get how it feels to see if somebody is not being geniune.

 

[Deleted member 113259]

There's a slight difference between being nice and kind. I think what you're referring to is to be nice. To be nice is to be pleasant while to be kind is to be generous. The difference between these two is that a pleasant person never speaks up about the abuse they receive while a kind or generous person is virtuous in other aspects of their life, meaning they'd have courage and command respect from people. Aim to be kind and virtuous, transform yourself into a better person, and then transform the people around you into better people. Don't aim to be nice, and never confuse the two. As soon as it feels like your efforts in transforming yourself and your friend group are being wasted, and you know you're disrespected, find new friends.

 

[greyblob]

I interact a lot with people offline, thank you. I still don't get how it feels to see if somebody is not being geniune.

you've never met someone who wanted a tip?

 

[Anon2024]

you've never met someone who wanted a tip?

Yeah, waiters and waitresses in America are all fake nice/kind.