How would you spend your time in prison?

[ohko]

Cookie #3 This one is a little bit less interesting though.

Once upon a time, @ohko was evil and framed you for a crime. You are now going to prison for 20 years. Additionally, you have no family or friends because I killed them all. In fact, on your initial prison paperwork, I wrote down that I'm your only friend, so currently I'm your only approved contact. You are unable to call anyone else (...well... you can fill out paperwork to get more contacts in the future... but the process is annoying and takes a while). Besides, all of your friends are dead, so you don't know anyone else's contact information.​

​

In either case, as your "friend", I'm allowed to send you care packages and all sorts of stuff to make your prison stay less boring. I can send you snacks, books, magazines, newspapers, photos, and even pocket money that can be deposited with the prison. Unfortunately, you don't get an internet connection. If you ask very nicely, I can print out your favorite web novels and mail it as a letter.​

​

Anyways, anything that you want -- make sure you ask, okay?​

What would you say when you get on the phone with @ohko? What would you do next?

 

[binarysoap]

I would say: "You may have taken my friends. You may have taken my family. I have no idea what you plan to do with me, but you'll never take me alive! "

Then proceed to join my friends in family in the isekai.

On a slightly more serious note, if someone actually killed everyone I cared about, I would probably wonder if life is even worth living, Also no internet? How am I supposed to interact with my waifus and husbandos?! So yeah, life definitively not worth living at that point.

 

[ohko]

I would say: "You may have taken my friends. You may have taken my family. I have no idea what you plan to do with me, but you'll never take me alive! "

Then proceed to join my friends in family in the isekai.

On a slightly more serious note, if someone actually killed everyone I cared about, I would probably wonder if life is even worth living, Also no internet? How am I supposed to interact with my waifus and husbandos?! So yeah, life definitively not worth living at that point.

This response interests me because I feel like I’ve seen it a lot on NUF too — the “I’d rather suicide than X”.

Do you think that this is a gut reaction or a serious response? I’m just somewhat curious about what is the real threshold for most people — in the sense that I’ve seen many people say that they’re rather die than live in Yaoi world.

Or another way to rephrase this is that is suicide at any point justified? Or is it always culturally considered a bad thing?

Or how do we know when life is or isn’t worth living?

 

[AKitsunex]

I'm guessing it would probably be more of a gut response? After all its one thing to say something on the internet and another to act as you say will do in a real situation.

Also to answer your question I would probably bide my time and make preparations so as to wait until the highest point in your life marriage or some other high point so that I can RIP everything you ever hold dear apart right in front of your eyes as a form of revenge

 

[binarysoap]

This response interests me because I feel like I’ve seen it a lot on NUF too — the “I’d rather suicide than X”.

Do you think that this is a gut reaction or a serious response? I’m just somewhat curious about what is the real threshold for most people — in the sense that I’ve seen many people say that they’re rather die than live in Yaoi world.

Or another way to rephrase this is that is suicide at any point justified? Or is it always culturally considered a bad thing?

Or how do we know when life is or isn’t worth living?

At least for stuff like "that they’re rather die than live in Yaoi world," it's more likely to be a figure of speech, not actual suicide.

I mean ever heard of mercy killing? If you're suffering really badly and there is no hope, it may be more humane to end them. Same thing.

 

[K5Rakitan]

Am I stuck in a women's prison? Send me a dildo, please!

Actually, you know what might be even more fun? Send me a sperm sample, I'll get myself pregnant, and then I'll have more family.

Seriously though, I am pissed about you killing all my friends and family, but they were all possessed by evil forces anyway, so I'll forgive you as long as you help me make more.

 

[ShrimpShady]

I understand you know how to get things. Can you get me a get out of jail free card? I've been having shit luck at rolling doubles.

 

[ohko]

I'm guessing it would probably be more of a gut response? After all its one thing to say something on the internet and another to act as you say will do in a real situation.

Also to answer your question I would probably bide my time and make preparations so as to wait until the highest point in your life marriage or some other high point so that I can RIP everything you ever hold dear apart right in front of your eyes as a form of revenge

I guess so! Anyways, in the mean time, since it'll be 20 years before you get out, are there any books you would ask for? A novel you would write?

At least for stuff like "that they’re rather die than live in Yaoi world," it's more likely to be a figure of speech, not actual suicide.

I mean ever heard of mercy killing? If you're suffering really badly and there is no hope, it may be more humane to end them. Same thing.

I mean, I can sort of understand it for physical pain or illness, but if you are in prison, is that suffering to the same degree?

Or is it mostly the emotional suffering of loss?

Am I stuck in a women's prison? Send me a dildo, please!

Actually, you know what might be even more fun? Send me a sperm sample, I'll get myself pregnant, and then I'll have more family.

Seriously though, I am pissed about you killing all my friends and family, but they were all possessed by evil forces anyway, so I'll forgive you as long as you help me make more.

That's some scary family you have. Uh... I guess I could see if there are sperm donors online. Are there specific features that you like best?

Interestingly, you can get IVF in prison in the UK so all of this is possible I guess.

I understand you know how to get things. Can you get me a get out of jail free card? I've been having shit luck at rolling doubles.

Maybe you can be sent a Monopoly board game?

 

[weakwithwords]

• Commit sudoku: as in memorize every possible configuration such that you can fill them up with a single glance. This is possibly more than a lifetime endeavor that you cannot afford to be distracted from worrying about having some petty trivial revenge on the Jedi.
• You-then-Asia: humbly but firmly request your "friend" to jerry acquire an andidote for boredom which only exists in theory in one of the hundred cursed pools of Jazz 'n Q.
• Become Prison King: ... and while they are razzled and dazzled by the magnificence of your newly established authority, perform a Shawshank Redemption (only good while supplies last)
• YMMV: your mileage may vary

 

[AliceShiki]

Some notebooks, a few pencil and some sharpeners too.

Basically, I need a good way to kill time, writing would be a good way to do so... Gotta re-learn how to write on paper because my hands start aching pretty quickly if I start writing nowadays, but I can do it if I try.

Still, I'd spend a lot of time writing probably... And uhn... Maybe some board games or something? Like a Chess Board or something, could try playing with other people at the prison, dunno if that's allowed or whatever.

Basically that I guess? I'd try to do something productive and something to kill time. Those are the things I'd try.

 

[K5Rakitan]

That's some scary family you have. Uh... I guess I could see if there are sperm donors online. Are there specific features that you like best?

Interestingly, you can get IVF in prison in the UK so all of this is possible I guess.

Intelligence, agility, dexterity, and anything else this kid needs bust me out of prison once once they are old enough!

 

[Blitz]

Ohko you've gone mad Power!

Also I'd probably request some sketching and writing supplies along with some basic necessities(blankets and such) to make my cell a bit more comfey. Also get some books to read and kill the time.
Also depending on the type of prison and where in the world it is different activities open up. Using the places gym equipment to work out and spend time with other inmates playing games like basketball seem like an option too.
Some prisons also teach useful real life skills such as metalwork and carpentry to prisoners to rehabilitate them and as a possible source of finance. Picking up a new skill sounds nice

 

[ArcadiaBlade]

I'll just kept silent on the talk and hang up.

Then, procede to collect information on the local prison kings and slowly manipulating them into joining my cult. Slowly cut down the prison guards and then publically make myself move to another bigger prison, do the same shit and until i became the prison king of the country.

Then, i would tell my bros to break out and slowly gather an army, make a mafia and collect my vengence papers on the personwho brought me to prison.

 

[AliceShiki]

I'll just kept silent on the talk and hang up.

Then, procede to collect information on the local prison kings and slowly manipulating them into joining my cult. Slowly cut down the prison guards and then publically make myself move to another bigger prison, do the same shit and until i became the prison king of the country.

Then, i would tell my bros to break out and slowly gather an army, make a mafia and collect my vengence papers on the personwho brought me to prison.

Your own cult? Are you a loli demon queen by chance?

 

[BenJepheneT]

Steal a bouncy ball and repeatedly throw it against the wall and do so for the next 20 fucken years of my life.

 

[ohko]

Steal a bouncy ball and repeatedly throw it against the wall and do so for the next 20 fucken years of my life.

squash?

Also benben, since when have you been a c̤̀ṙ͈̥ͩͭi̸̯̯̋̍͐̀͏m̮̣̫i̸̹ͪͮ̚͘͘ͅn̩̭ͤ̊̕҉̨ą̴͖͌͜l̙̮̼̃ ?

 

[gaylolis]

i think i will ask you to kill everyone so i can enjoy my time alone in prison. i don't like being with groups that much, especially with covid going on.

also send me a computer, regular food, internet, money, and everything else. i will just go into the best room and chill.

so i can just enjoy my 20 years being a NEET.

 

[ohko]

i think i will ask you to kill everyone so i can enjoy my time alone in prison. i don't like being with groups that much, especially with covid going on.

also send me a computer, regular food, internet, money, and everything else.

so i can just enjoy my 20 years being a NEET.

I find it really fascinating how big of a difference the Internet makes for people in our generation ^^

 

[gaylolis]

I find it really fascinating how big of a difference the Internet makes for people in our generation ^^

because we're raised with the internet.

 

[AliceShiki]

I find it really fascinating how big of a difference the Internet makes for people in our generation ^^

Well, it's our go-to thing to pass time I guess?

Or to interact with friends and what not... And in my case even work depends on the internet, so... Yeah, it makes a big difference.

I mean, if I download a bunch of games in advance, I can probably stay a long time just fine without internet, but I'd still like to have easy access to walkthroughs and stuff, so I'd probably need to download those too... And then when I got a question the walkthrough doesn't answer, I'd need to just pout at it... orz

It's genuinely hard to think of ways to pass time without the internet while living by myself... Most of my answers would involve doing something on the computer that I downloaded from the internet.