Phrases nobody want to hear

[PieCoNsUmEr]

Exactly as the title says, I’ll start:
Teeth where there shouldn’t be.

 

[Draconite]

Vanilla Milk lovers is racist to chocolate milk

 

[CupcakeNinja]

That coke can didnt make as good a flashlight as I thought.

 

[Mechaphobic]

Congratulations, It's twins!

 

[K5Rakitan]

Congratulations, It's twins!

Husband and I actually wanted twins and were a bit disappointed when we found out I was gestating only one fetus. Oh well, maybe next time.

That coke can didnt make as good a flashlight as I thought.

Don't you mean fleshlight?

 

[PieCoNsUmEr]

Another one:
The bananas are shedding.

 

[Aoi_Sora]

"His is bigger than yours"
"I don't like this but this feels so good."
"I don't have anything to give to him! My first were taken by him!"
THIS

Oh f***... wrong thread.

 

[NotaNuffian]

"His is bigger than yours"
"I don't like this but this feels so good."
"I don't have anything to give to him! My first were taken by him!"
THIS

Oh f***... wrong thread.

For that pic, I hate you.

From my work site and by HR:
"That expense cannot be claimed."

 

[Daitengu]

It's cancer.

 

[Biggest-Kusa-Out-There]

"Be not afraid" while experiencing the most terrifying moment of my life.

 

[WanderingSwordNuub]

Let's break up

 

[gaylolis]

It's cool and all, but have you ever thought about trying Windows 10?

 

[Agentt]

Monkey in penis!

 

[ArcadiaBlade]

Did you stop being a disappointment?

 

[CupcakeNinja]

Husband and I actually wanted twins and were a bit disappointed when we found out I was gestating only one fetus. Oh well, maybe next time.

Don't you mean fleshlight?

Fucking autocorrect

 

[Mechaphobic]

"We have diagnosed your condition as a broken pipe, also known as erectile dysfunction, or COVID dick™ in Colorado."

"Today as a world, let's abolish language, we can just grunt at each other again!"

"You don't need the other testicle, lets just remove it."

"The results came back positive, it is a new STD, what would you like to call it?"

 

[BenJepheneT]

Black breasts make chocolate milk, and you can never confirm it because your ugly ass can't ever hope to cop an ebony queen.

 

[PieCoNsUmEr]

Warm chunky water.
It’s less cute now that I’m looking at it closer.
“(They’re/she’s/he’s) still breathing?”
Your address.
“They’re better young.”
FIRST NAME! MIDDLE NAME! LAST NAME!
You don’t need to wear that much.
Some makeup might help.
So I heard your a homosexual.
That wasn’t a stuffed animal.
Are you pregnant?
You aren’t my (mom/dad)?
You’re somewhat attractive.
Ya ever seen a goat give birth?
Moist toilet paper.
I’m going to put a carpet in my bathroom.

 

[PieCoNsUmEr]

Heart shaped but hole.

 

[Motsu]

"I love kids and I am eighteen!"