TheTrinary
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  • Okay depression over. Time to edit some youtube videos and write chapters.
    BenJepheneT
    BenJepheneT
    aye mane, been wondering where you gone off too. hope you're doing well. i miss seeing you in my latest subscription's list.
    TheTrinary
    TheTrinary
    Winter always sucks. But i'm back outside. Running again. Feeling the groove.
    In a first for my first chapter feedback thread on royal road, I accuse someone of submitting something an ai wrote.
    SakeVision
    SakeVision
    ai dungeon went to shit like a year ago, dreamily and novel ai are it now
    TheTrinary
    TheTrinary
    Lol. My experience might have been earlier than you guys.
    greyblob
    greyblob
    I tried dungeon ai 2 I think. it was like a year and a half ago
    I feel dirty but I actually needed to start a chapter out with a character waking up.
    • Like
    Reactions: YuriDoggo
    TheTrinary
    TheTrinary
    But as I type this, I realize there IS a better way.
    BenJepheneT
    BenJepheneT
    You can always compliment tedium with humour. Instead of something along the boring lines of "he woke up" you can work with shit like "he may be awake but his bitch of a back pain was luring him back onto the mattress again".

    It only works with certain tones and proses though, so do proceed with caution.
    TheTrinary
    TheTrinary
    Well even when I was using it, it wasn't as basic as a person waking up. But none of this matters because you never need to use it.
    I recorded a song for my next video, but I think I might finally get a better microphone and redo it.
    Collosal is going on my list of most insane movies of all time.
    Generic.Archdemon
    Generic.Archdemon
    I think I enjoyed the portrayal of the "entitled" aggression of Jason Sudeikis character that was felt like something I see daily and juxtaposed with the possibility of him doing becoming really really bad to add the stakes in the story.

    I really liked it, but I probably would have struggled to if the casting was anything different.
    TheTrinary
    TheTrinary
    @BenJepheneT I do think the central premise of Collosal was pretty stupid. But that's fine enough. That's the world, I can accept it. And the movie didn't take itself too seriously. Never heard of Primer. Will check that out.
    TheTrinary
    TheTrinary
    @Generic.Archdemon The characters were great. The main trio were all highly deficient in their own right, but Sudeikis rose to a Joker level of nuts. The build up to it was great because you could see it coming a mile away.
    If I was asked to write the new Spider Man movie, my default would not have been to take the Fantastic Beasts script and change the names. Bold.
    Seinfeld might be the least funny thing ever made.
    Generic.Archdemon
    Generic.Archdemon
    ditto, but I can say I don't have the mentality of a 20to30-year-old Jewish American in 1990... I too find Seinfeld hard to sit through... but as a case study of that time... it's interesting.
    Generic.Archdemon
    Generic.Archdemon
    While Seinfeld mads fun of "life", I would recommend a similar dissection of Friends. Which is slightly closer to "now", and often I found it chilling to think "Wow, people really like mocking _______ back then...it was only ______ years ago, I was there..."
    Generic.Archdemon
    Generic.Archdemon
    I am ranting now... I think some things ARE timeless, transcends culture... things that hinge on something that is such a big part of the human experience that it undeniably speaks to all that is "human", comedy or otherwise....

    Oookkay I am done.
    Okay I'm having a crisis of faith again. I think I am going to rewrite my entire story.
    Generic.Archdemon
    Generic.Archdemon
    my question is if @trinary is looking to rewrite his entire story, what is he going to change?
    TheTrinary
    TheTrinary
    Syche.

    Opening change.
    End change to something less contrived.
    Redoing the narrator and actually paying that mystery off.
    TheTrinary
    TheTrinary
    Tonally I'm also bumping it from ya to a hard fantasy send up.
    A few tweaks here and there on powers and some random set up characters.
    Also less mysterious world building and more explanation up front for some elements.
    Well I just spent my entire Saturday night making a joke video I thought would take thirty minutes at most.
    TheTrinary
    TheTrinary
    M. Night Shyamalan's: The Last Wheel Bender
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